Requiem Of A Boy Who Chased After His Dreams.

2007-01-15T08:26:00.000-08:00

January 15, 2007

Oh My Lord (Of The Rings)...

I just received the most shocking news I've heard in months!!!

I'm still shocked over what happened... At the same time, I'm laughing that it did. Not that I'm being cynical or whatever, just that the verb (whatever that happened) itself is cynical in many ways... Oh my god... What a way to start off a new week and a new chapter in my life.... WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOTS!!!

BACK TO WORK... YAYNESS!!!

2007-01-15T08:23:00.000-08:00

Birthday Greetings

Happy 24th Birthday to my beloved Fag Sister Cynthia
Last year, I gave you a striptease as a birthday present (that's an honour, okay!). What shall I give you this year??? Hmmmmmmmmmmmm..............

WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2007-01-13T22:48:00.000-08:00

January 13, 2007

Too many words, too little time.

I've lots (and lots) to tell you about what happened when the other half and I finally spent the (entire) day together yesterday!!! But I'll do so when I get back tomorrow, alright? For now, it's off to Crystal's for a night of laughter and fun! =)

P/S: Congrats, baby!! I'm soooooooooo proud of you!!! =))

2 more days before work starts all over again...

2007-01-13T22:40:00.000-08:00

Birthday Greetings

Happy 20th Birthday Jehan!!!
Wah... Mak besar dah setahun lebih dewasa seh.... Well, I have about 128 days left (do your math, people!) before I can finally catch up with you!!! Haha!!

2007-01-11T04:10:00.000-08:00

January 11, 2007

Counting Down

1 more day
before I finally get to spend some quality time with
the other half!!!

1 more day
to The Darlings' reunion at Cartoon Network!!

4 more days
before work starts all over again

As you can tell, I am excited as hell!!! Yee-haw!!! *grins*

Tick... Tock... Tick... Tock....

2007-01-11T02:32:00.000-08:00

My Seduction Style

Got this off Hasif's blog. I like what I read, and can I just say that I totally love the shoes!!! Alright, I am soooo gonna look for a similar pair once I get my pay at the end of the month!! Nyeh heh heh... *wink*

2007-01-10T06:07:00.000-08:00

January 10, 2007

Birthday Greetings

Happy 37th Birthday to my beloved youngest aunt, Emma.

Here's a toast (with a glass of warm tea at the side of my bed) to one of the 4 ladies who, since young, has never failed to shower me with unconditional love.

Happy 18th Birthday to Mr Ridhwan a.k.a Riddy a.k.a Dy a.k.a Iwan a.k.a Ridtz!!

Boy, you have yet to tell me what is it that you want for your birthday!! And as for that "Birthday Wish" of yours (the one you left on my msn a week ago), let's just say that I've forgiven you for everything that happened in the past, even before you even asked for an apology.

I must say that as pissed as I was back then, I couldn't help but to grant you forgiveness, not just because it's a part of our culture to forgive and forget, but because you're like a sibling to me. And btw, I miss your family. Haha! And the frequent chats I have with your younger sister on msn isn't helping much! I miss mommy!! Wahahahahaha!!!

2007-01-10T06:06:00.000-08:00

Ooh yeah... Sizzle me up baby!!

You Are Super Spicy

You're a little bit crazy, a little bit naughty, and a whole lot of sexy.
You go beyond hot - you set people's senses on fire!

Are You Hot?

Psssst!!! Ouch, that's hot!! Wahahaha!!! I guess this is where it's most appropriate for me to start singing MC Hammer's "Can't touch this!"

Nyeh heh heh.... =P

2007-01-10T05:54:00.000-08:00

Counting Down

5 more days
before work starts all over again

Tick... Tock... Tick... Tock....

2007-01-09T22:21:00.000-08:00

January 9, 2007

All 'Bout Fidelity

Was listening to the radio (something I've not done in a looooooooooong time) while at work on Monday, and Daniel Ong (I kept typing Daniel Yeo, the DJ at Attica!) and Young were doing a survey on people who cheat on their other halves. The statistics showed that 6 out of 10 have ever cheated on their partners!

Anyway, Dan was talking about why people, in general, cheat. In his words, "People often cheat because they don't feel alive in the relationship, that the relationship is boring or stagnant, so they find the excitement they need elsewhere..."

I, for one, couldn't agree more with what Dan said. Being the adrenaline junkie that I am, I like my relationships to be ever exciting and full of surprises. Most of you would know me as someone who hates stagnance - be it anywhere in life. And so, as alarming as that may sound, to my beloved other half... Go on... Excite me!!!! (Oh my gosh, that sounded sooo kinkayyyyyy)

WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!

2007-01-09T22:01:00.000-08:00

Random Ramblings

It's been 8 days since the other half and I really spent quality time together. The last was on New Year's Day itself. Since then, we've only been able to meet up for meals. That's all. I miss him so much, and according to him, and I quote, "You have no idea how much I miss you." Can't wait for Friday when we finally get some quality time together! Woo hoo!

It's been 2 months since The Darlings clubbed together as a group. Everyone's too busy with their own individual lives as of late. Chuan Wei has asked for a "reunion", or so to speak, at Cartoon Network this Friday. I might turn up. Already on the agenda for that day is work and the other half, so yeah...

I am seriously craving for Prata Ice Cream from Al-Ameen!!!!! Hmmmmm... Maybe I shall get it tomorrow after work. Anyone for Prata Ice Cream at Al-Ameen tomorrow?

2007-01-09T21:43:00.000-08:00

Counting Down

6 more days before it starts all over again.

Before every other variable except "Work" is deemed "important".

Before time... runs out.

2007-01-09T21:38:00.000-08:00

The Typical Singaporean

I'm sure we've come across such people in our lives before. Talk about relativity, huh?

Wahahahaha!!!

2007-01-09T21:12:00.000-08:00

Out With The Old

This has got to be the most emotional count down to the new year. Ever. All because the place where I regard as a second home - one which holds so much memories of the past year, both good and bad - was on its last day of operation. Yes, I'm talking about Happy.

Just before leaving home, I had told myself that I would try my very best not to get too emotional about it, but being the emo freak that I am, by the end of the night I was sobbing as though my grandma just passed away!

The party was great, of course. We celebrated the first few moments of the New Year hugging each other in appreciation of the friendship we all share and value. The first blow came when I shared a hug with Bala.

"Maman, I am so gonna miss this place, because this was where I first met you and I have never regretted having you as a friend."

Doesn't that just hit you at the softest spot in your heart? I know it did mine. Bajji, like I told you before, I have never known someone so nice and so genuine as yourself before. You really are a darling. It still makes no sense to me why you're still single. I swear, the person who'd eventually win over your heart should be considered the luckiest ass in the whole wide world! Haha!

Moving on, I soon met my beloved Fag Sister Cynthia, along with Kala, Denise, her partner (whose name I've forgotten), as well as Priscilla, who is one-half of the famous father-daughter magician duo, Lawrence & Priscilla (Those of you who have no idea who the Khongs are, shame on you).

We soon started discussing about New Year Resolutions, and Cyn shared with me her resolution for 2007.

"My New Year resolution is to not fall in love."

Having known of her love life, or the lack of it, I do feel for my dearest sister, but not wanting her to give up on the big L-word (no pun intended), I had asked her to ammend that resolution to "Don't fall in love with someone, but let someone fall in love with you instead."

To me, that is the fool-proof way of falling in love without the (or should I say, with lesser) risk of ending up burnt. Simply because by doing so, not only do you allow yourself to fall in love with someone, but you also allow the person to fall in love with you for who you really are, without singling out an aspect of you to fall in love with (i.e. looks, wealth, career success etc.) - aspects which, in most cases, exudes superficiality!

Anyway, Kala and I shared a resolution for the night, a resolution which Cyn had already accomplished then! What else than to get intoxicated and enjoy the night!

And intoxicated we were!

Oh oh did I mention, Kala and I shared a kiss! Haha! No it wasn't a peck but a friggin smooch! And it wasn't A kiss, but kisses! Yes, laugh everyone, laugh! It was so funny, I tell you! But I must say, she's one hell of a kisser! She passed a remark just before leaving, a remark which holds honour in its own accord.

"Do you know you're the first AJ I've ever kissed?"

Awwwwwww..... And to think I thought you were a lesbian all along!! Hahahahahaha!!

Soon after they left, I went back to my other friends, and to my surprise, guess who tapped me on the shoulder while I was at the side of the dance floor?

Ms. Lin Wan Cheng!!!

Yes my beloved best gal (who initially said that she wouldn't be able to make it) made it! And that surprise effectively broke me down emotionally. But it wasn't a bad thing, really.

I was extremely glad that one of the 2 people whom I have great undying love for - the other being my other half - was there by my side to usher in the new year. I was initially sad because, not only was my other half not able to make it due to work commitments, but the absence of my best gal as well. So seeing (or rather, being surprised by) her at the dance floor was certainly a gift.

From that point onwards, tears rolled down my cheeks like a running tap, especially since it was close to the end of the party.

I immediately ran towards every staff, all of whom - collectively - I've regarded as an extended family and gave them a hug. Adrian, an ex-bartender at the club, was sweet enough to comfort me.

I miss that place so much. Even more so, I miss the people who made that place what it was: Happy.

2006-12-31T18:38:00.000-08:00

December 31, 2006

Birthday Wishes

Happy 19th Birthday Miss Mardiana Binte Sabtu

Happy 18th Birthday Mr Gregory Tong Hua Loong

Happy 33rd Birthday to my youngest uncle and his beloved wife of 9 years. (They were born only a few hours apart lah. Yes, they were born on the same day of the same month in the same year! And the coolest part is, they've been in love ever since their Secondary School days! How friggin' cool is that?!)

2006-12-30T19:27:00.000-08:00

December 30, 2006

Out With The Truth

Okay okay.... I'm sick of people asking the same old question, and of people probing and prying every explicit detail of my love life... Fine, I shall let this be known to the world once and for all....

YES!!!
I'M HAPPILY ATTACHED!!!

There! I hope you're all satisfied... So stop asking me any more questions lah, goddammit!!

2006-12-30T19:21:00.000-08:00

What's Up, Doc?

After a month of coughing my lungs out, I finally paid a visit to the doc's this morning. Not that I eventually wanted to anyway.

My dearest other half has been ~~asking requesting~~ pleading with me to go to the doctor's for the loooooooooongest time, especially after the 2 bottles of cough syrup I had previously taken had not done much to ease the infection.

Of course, being me, I was stubborn and adamant about not going to the doctor lah, but since he has been such a sweeeeeeet darling to me, and since he has done (and sacrificed) soooooooo much for me, I decided to give in to his pleas.

Not that it's meant to "return the favour", but I just didn't want him (and everyone else) to worry about my condition anymore. Plus, I simply just love him too much to disappoint him! Heehee...

(Gasp! I'm back to my lovey dovey mushy self again... Oh dear... Maman Romeo is back... Err... Errrr.... Oh what the heck, fuck it lah! I'm cRaZy in love anyway!!!)

Wahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anyway, he was sweet enough to bring me to the polyclinic at 8 in the friggin' morning! I just got back from clubbing (so what else is new?!) and he just got back from work, so you can imagine how sleepy and tired the two of us were... Thankfully, the whole thing was done in an hour. Phew!

So yes, I now have my medication... Which means the rest of you can stop worrying now... Rather, leave that to him! Nyeh heh heh....

2006-12-30T19:17:00.000-08:00

Before I Forget...

For all of you (except Bala and Fazil) who don't have a clue whatsoever who the heck my beloved other half is, don't you start with the crazy assumptions when you see me in the streets with another guy ah!

Chances are, that person's a friend of mine. I always go out with my guy friends anyway, straight or otherwise.

That is, of course, unless you happen to see me in my room with someone lah... Then I'm abso-fuckin-lutely sure that would be him... Hur hur hur...

Not that I'm warning all of you about the assumption part lah, but let's just say I KNOW what ~~foul~~ bitchy mouths you nosey parkers have! Yes, I'm referring to YOU! You people should know who you are lah ah...

Guilty as charged, anyone?

2006-12-29T11:27:00.000-08:00

December 29, 2006

Masterpiece In The Making? (Part 2)

...half an hour later.

Mike: Bro, cannot lah.
Maman: Apa cannot?
Mike: The musical. Cannot work lah.
Maman: Why not?
Mike: Cos such spoofs are damn lame lei...
Maman: And yet W!ld Rice is recognised for their, in your own words, "lame" works. What irony.

2006-12-29T11:07:00.000-08:00

Masterpiece In The Making? (Part 1)

Mike: I wanna write a new musical.
Maman: Cool.
Mike: But I wanna write a musical on Christmas.
Maman: Booooooring. Too overdone lah, bro.
Mike: But it's gonna have a local flavour to it! Any suggestions?

after 5 minutes...

Maman: Bro, I know liao!
Mike: What what?
Maman: Do a spoof on "Twas The Night Before Christmas"
Mike: What exactly do you have in mind?
Maman: "PSA The Musical: Twas The Freight Before Christmas."

2006-12-29T10:58:00.000-08:00

The Unexpected

Someone wished me Merry Christmas 2 days ago.

It was "that person living at the other end of the island".

I'm still surprised that out of all people, it was him.

Err... Well, thanks anyway.

2006-12-29T10:55:00.000-08:00

No Snow, Only Rain.

Christmas at St James was awesome, balls! Much to our approval, and much to Santa's dismay, that Holy Night was not much of a Silent Night after all, unlike the words to the famous carol. Oh no it wasn't silent at all. In fact, it was pumping with the hottest house mixes around! I'm sure Santa wasn't pleased, but what the heck, we had our own "Santa" too (who threw everything from candy to condoms to the crowd below)!

Now that's what I call a real treat! Haha!

2006-12-25T07:59:00.000-08:00

December 25, 2006

Seasons Greetings

I just got back from a night of partying at Happy, and boy what a party it was. For the record, I was sober the entire night. Only had a glass of (what else) vodka redbull, and that was it! Surprised? So am I. Haha!

Was trying very hard to enjoy myself, considering I was (and still am) missing someone very much (oops, did I just let the cat out of the bag? Nyeh heh heh...), but I eventually did have a lot of fun lah. So much so that my leg cramped. Heehee...

Anyway, I'd like to take this opportunity to wish all my Christian and Non-Christian friends alike a Merry Christmas 2006. Enjoy the festivities, y'all!

Alright, I'm gonna hit the showers before going to bed. Gotta recharge myself before tonight's Fabulous party at St James' Powerhouse! Heehee!

Okay wait. Before I go, I might as well rave about the Fabulous party @ St James' which started last Sunday.

After attending the inaugural party, I must say that Fabulous has shaped to be the Grande Dame of all parties. I'm not exaggerating. You may ask anyone else who was there last week.

I've said it before and I'll say it again. The Fabulous party is a fucking evolution of the Singapore AJ clubbing scene! Once Happy hosts its FINAL (you read that right! Give me a reason not to be depressed please!) party on New Year's Eve, Powerhouse is THE flagship club, as far as the AJ scene goes...

Alright, I'm off. Toodles!

2006-12-25T07:49:00.000-08:00

A Short Note

...from someone who cares.

Attended my secondary school Band's annual concert on Friday.

Long story short, I shall keep my comments to myself.

Those who wish to know my honest feedback (for better or for worse, that's entirely up to you), contact me personally.

2006-12-22T01:30:00.000-08:00

December 22, 2006

Oooh Yeah...

Exotic Dancer Name Is...

Diva

Exotic Dancer Name Generator

So it's confirmed! I AM a Diva!!! Wan Cheng, you know what to call me the next time I get drunk and start strutting my stuff on the dance floor...

Wahahhahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!

2006-12-22T00:56:00.000-08:00

Say Whaaattttt....

Your Deadly Sins

Envy: 20%

Gluttony: 20%

Greed: 20%

Pride: 20%

Sloth: 20%

Wrath: 20%

Lust: 0%

Chance You'll Go to Hell: 17%

You will die at the hands of a jealous lover. How ironic.

How Sinful Are You?

What the fuck... 0% for lust?!?!?! Damn, I gotta start being promiscuous again... My undisputed title of "Sex God" is at stake here.... Wahahahaha.....

And what the hell lah.... Die in the hands of a jealous lover??? You mean, there's someone who's more prone to being jealous and obsessive in love than I am??? Whoa... Bring it on, biatch! Wahahaha!!!

Eh.... Eh.... 17% of going to hell? But... But... Heaven's gonna be a boring place... All the hot people are covered up from head to toe... Not to mention, there ain't no AJs in heaven!!! Worse still, there ain't no clubs there, which means, there ain't gonna be Vodka Redbull!!!!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

P/S: Wan Cheng, how??? Our plan to turn hell into Party Central seems bleak at the moment... Fooketty Fooketty Fook!

2006-12-21T07:49:00.000-08:00

December 21, 2006

Fa-La-La-La-La....

For those who're still wondering what to get me for Christmas (despite it being only 4 days away!), let me give you the best (and most practical) suggestion: Cash!

Hahahahahah!!!

No man can ever have enough cash in his wallet. Only being human, there's always that desire for more. So since I'm only human, why not you satisfy my human desires lah!

After all, in life, you must always be practical!

WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2006-12-21T07:43:00.000-08:00

A Whole New World

Was feeling bored a few nights ago, so I ended up writing this.

I close my eyes and imagine
Of a beautiful place
Where the pastures are always green
And I can always run with grace

Where the birds sing a melody
A melody of hope, a melody of faith
A melody I treasure
For that melody, it keeps me safe

In the background I hear children laughing
Angelic voices, each harmonized with innocence
How lucky, I say to myself
For they're in a place with no sadness or despondence

This world that I picture of
Is far different than the one I'm in
For this is where the sun shines with love
And the moon coaxes with its every beam

In this world I have no fears
Fear of being too open about me being gay
Or of huge egos and temper tantrums
Or of jerks who only know how to walk away

The unimaginable is what I now attempt
One that seems like everyone thinks is best
To once again set my heart free
From that locked, dusty, old wooden chest

And so here I am
Transported to my idea of what Heaven is
Where everybody's free as the birds
Yes, the very same birds singing with bliss

This is where I want to be
For this is where I'm always free.

2006-12-21T07:32:00.000-08:00

Hur Hur Hur...

This was from the conversation I had with a distant relative, a cousin I think, about 2 weeks ago.

Relative: Now that you're a young adult, you must take care of yourself, ok?

Maman: Yes, I know that.

Relative: Must be careful when you sleep with someone.

Maman: (shocked) Errr... Oooookkkaaaayyyy...

Relative: Must be extra cautious... Too many cases of teenage pregnancies around.

Maman: (laughs) Oh don't worry. I seriously doubt that would ever happen!

Relative: You can never be too sure, Man.

Maman: (cuts in) Oh, don't you worry one bit! I'm extremely sure that would be the last thing to happen! (laughs)

Not sure if he got my hint, but yeah... You know that won't happen what... For the most obvious reason.... Wahahahaha!!!!!

2006-12-21T07:17:00.000-08:00

Meme Who? Meme Me!

Okay, so I've been ~~forced obliged~~ asked by Indra to complete this meme. Whoever wants to do this on your blog is most welcomed to. Unlike Indra, I shan't force you. Wahahahahaha!!!!!

Instructions: List out (in alphabetical order) names which, in your social circle, 3 or more people share.

A:

Andy
Amelia
Amalina
Ahmad
Andrew
Aaron
Adam
Amirah
Adi
Adrian
Alvin
Angela
Aizat/Aizad
Audrey
Alan
Alex
Alicia

Belinda
Brandon
Benjamin
Brian/Bryan
Bob

Caroline
Clarence
Claire
Charmaine
Candice
Cassandra
Cynthia
Chris
Charlotte
Crystal

Diana
Daniel
Darren
Desmond
Derek/Derrick

Eugene
Edwin
Eileen
Eric
Elaine

Farah (It seems that all the Farahs I know are classic nutcases!)
Farhan
Felicia
Fandi
Fadli/Fadzli/Fadlie
Faizal
Farid
Fitri

Gary
Gabriel
Gavin
Gordon

Hafiz/Hafeez
Haris/Hariz
Herwan
Hidayah
Haikal/Haikel
Huda
Helmi/Hilmi/Helmy/Helmie

Ivan
Izwan/Idzwan
Imran
Irene
Isaac
Iskandar

Jacqueline
Jason
Jeremy
Joanna
Joshua
Joyce
Jonathan
James
Jared
Juliana
Jamie
Joel

Khai/Khairul/Khairil
Kevin
Kenneth
Karen
Kelvin

Lina/Lyna

Marcus
Mabel
Melissa
Michael
Murni
Melvin

Nadia/Nadyah/Nadiah
Nina
Natasha
Nurul
Nadhirah
Noreen

Osman
Oliver

Paul
Phillip
Patricia
Priscilla

I don't think I know anyone whose name starts with "Q" lei... =/

R:

Rahman
Ridwan/Ridhwan/Ridzuan/Rydwan
Rose/Ros
Rizal

Shaiful/Saiful
Siti
Sharil/Syaril
Shah
Syaza
Sam
Shaun/Sean/Shawn
Simon
Stephanie
Steven/Stephen
Syed (a.k.a the "Arab Dogols"! Haha!)
Shi Hui

Terrence
Thomas

I don't think I know anyone whose name starts with "U"...

V:

Victoria
Vincent/Vince

Wendy

I only know 1 Xavier, so I don't think that counts...

Y:

Yann

Zilah
Zaini

2006-12-21T07:03:00.000-08:00

A Little Update On Moi

Work's fun. On other days, it's sleep, sleep and more sleep for me. Hehe!

Anyway, I've decided not to renew my contract with regards to my school shows. My producer's not planning to bid for the contract with PUB for the 2007 season, and so I've decided to stick by my producer's side and do more shows with the company instead. Plus, I've had enough crap from PUB lah... Especially with the constant delay of payment...

Social life has been good as well. Clubbing's still a weekend affair. Don't ask why I love clubbing so much. If u must know, ask Wan Cheng. She'd explain to you how clubbing helps me look forward to the new week...

On to my love life... Wait, what love life?! Haha! (Claire, I shall post on what we discussed about another day.)

Last but not least, my sex life. Well, it's pathetic lah. I seriously think I'm losing interest in physical pleasure. Maybe it's because I prefer making love to having sex? There is a difference, you know.

2006-12-21T06:53:00.000-08:00

Bon Voyage

Ollie's flying off today to London for 2 weeks

KS left for Gold Coast for a week, and is already back in Singapore

Chris' leaving for Bangkok tomorrow for the X'mas weekend

Marcus left for Taiwan (which is to be followed by Shanghai) on Saturday and will be back on the 28th

Jonathan and his fiance (whatever her name is) are leaving for Bali next Thursday.

Goddammit! I want a holiday tooooooo.....

2006-12-21T06:50:00.000-08:00

Sorry Lor

For those who have been asking (or in Sandy's case, screaming at) me to update (and provide her (Sandy) with reading materials while at work) my blog, the title says it all.

2006-12-03T20:45:00.000-08:00

December 3, 2006

Short And Sweet

Let me make this crystal clear to all of you so that even the dumbfucks out there can register this in their ~~stupid excuse for~~ brains without taking a moment to pause and ponder.

MAMAN

IS

P-I-S-S-E-D

O-F-F!!!!!!!

Go figure, mothafuckas!

2006-12-01T08:49:00.000-08:00

December 1, 2006

Huh... Got Meh?

Miss Claire Seah thinks I'm
"enjoying singlehood a tad too much".

Huh????????

Really meh???????

=/

2006-12-01T08:42:00.000-08:00

The Reassurance I Needed

You Should Be an Actor

You have a flair for the dramatic, and you probably already do a lot of acting in your day to day life, just to entertain yourself.
No need to steal the spotlight from your friends... You'll get plenty of attention once you start acting professionally!

What Sort of Artist Should You Be?

Phew... At least I now know it was indeed a wise decision to drop out of school to pursue theatre!

2006-12-01T08:23:00.000-08:00

Yawn

Less than a month ago, I was really excited that my contract with my school productions was about to expire. Now that it has, life has been pretty much... boring.

All I've been doing for the past week is sleep. Yes, I know it's a good opportunity to catch up on the hours of sleep that was lost during the period when the contract was still valid, and yes, I also know that it's about time I rest my (slowly) deteriorating body (and not to mention health).

But at the same time, I'm sure you would probably know by now that Maman hates stagnance, be it anywhere in life. And my life over the past week has been... well... stagnant! I hate it!!!

I've been pretty restless over the past couple of days. I need to find something to do. Something that will keep me busy. Something that will bring in the ka-chings. Something like... WORK!!!

I need more projects. Gonna email my CV to the respective contacts in a short while. In the mean time, if any of you out there is in the know of any paying jobs (with regards to the industry I'm working in right now), holla at your boy!

Don't forget, I'm a freelancer. I actcrewoperatesoundandlights for ~~cigarettes alcohol~~ food!!!

Heehee... *wink*

2006-12-01T08:17:00.000-08:00

And... Action!

After a week of ~~resting recuperating relaxing~~ sleeping and lazing around at home, I was finally back at work on Wednesday.

This time, I was invited to act in a short film which will be screened at Vivo City somewhere in February. Wah... Invited sia... Haha... See, that's the power of networking (and friendship)!

It was just a cameo appearance lah. I only had 7 lines to say, but for a job which only requires me to say 7 lines, the money's not bad. Then again, most of it is already gone thanks to everybody's favourite 5-letter B-word. Go figure. Bleah!

The "star" of the show, if you will, is a veteran in the malay television and theatre scene. I've seen him in quite a number of malay serials when I was growing up and to actually be working with him... That's something I can't describe with words. It's such a humble experience to be working with him.

Listening to his past experiences really made me realize all over again the reason why I wanted to do this in the first place. It's been a dream ever since I was a young, innocent boy. To realize that that dream is finally becoming a reality... it just makes me feel so grateful and lucky.

That realisation was also in more ways than one, a wake-up call for me. Sure, I've made a couple of mistakes in the 10 months that I've been in this industry. But working with Cik Haslam has given me the spririt and determination to wake up, rebuild myself, work my ass off even harder than before and to simply step up my game.

That's Cik Haslam, one of the few local actors I idolized as a child.

Anyway, back to the shoot, everything went according as plan. We weren't behind schedule, neither were there any cock-ups along the way. Everything was smooth sailing.

Our call time was at 0800hrs. After a short briefing by the director (who also happens to be my friend), we were ready to shoot the scene. I was initially confident that I would be able to potray my character with ease, but as I looked back at the directions on the script, I became nervous. Why not, when the scene required my character to slap Cik Haslam's character around?!

I tried to be as professional as I could, and after a short word with Cik Haslam, he gave me the green light to slap him as hard as I could and also gave me the assurance that it's all "in the name of acting". It was really comforting, though nevertheless, it still did made me feel nervous.

During technical rehearsal. As you can see, I was nervous as hell! And just for the record, that is not my shirt!

Filming officially began at 0830hrs and it went on till about 1430hrs. By then, I was already exhausted and was having a major headache, but it wasn't because of the long, tedious filming process. Instead, it was the extreme afternoon heat that affected me terribly. And let's not forget the fact that I was still coughing my lungs out!

I felt a bit nauseous because of the heat but luckily, I managed to pull myself together to finish the shoot. Phew!

Anyway, I must say that the crew were really nice to us and they did all they could to make sure our welfare's taken care of. Besides lunch, we were provided with an endless supply of teh peng and cigarettes! Now THAT'S what I call good cast welfare!

WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!

2006-11-28T07:45:00.000-08:00

November 28, 2006

Unlock Me

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free.

In love, you feel the most alive when your lover is creative and never lets you feel bored.

You'd like to your lover to think you are stylish and alluring.

You would be forced to break up with someone who was emotional, moody, and difficult to please.

Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with.

Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.

You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred.

In this moment, you think of love as something you thirst for. You'll do anything for love, but you won't fall for it easily.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

B-I-N-G-O!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2006-11-28T07:39:00.000-08:00

Sick

I'm still coughing my lungs out. It's been 9 days now.

Please, stop telling me to see a doctor because you know how adamant I am about NOT going to the doc's!

It's alright. I'll be fine. Just bought a bottle of cough syrup from the pharmacy yesterday.

Anyway, get well soon, Marcus.

2006-11-28T07:34:00.000-08:00

What a weekend!

Was at the club on Friday for their Fag Hag/ Fag Stag tribute night with the darlings. It sure was a lot of fun. We danced, we bitched, we joked and most importantly, we drank. A lot. We all drank so much that we were all drunk, or at the very least, high. Yes, all 10 of us were intoxicated, some more than others! Gosh, I have never seen Ary and Idzi get sooooooooo drunk before! Wahahaha!

Thankfully, yours truly wasn't up to the point of being pukey drunk, like what had happened the Satuday before. Nevertheless, we all had a wonderful time!

Oh, oh! I bumped into Lifen (a.k.a Leafy, my poly mate) together with her boyfriend that night! God, she is soooooooo gorgeous! But like all of us, she has gone through some changes in her life. For instance, she's no longer working with Mediacorp (to quote, "my job was so boring! god!") and is now doing Marketing and Publicity for EMI. She's very much in love with her job as she is with her boyfriend, Eugene. Aaaah... They look so good together. Oh, I never knew she was a smoker! (I was lighting up a cigarette when she took out a pack from her pocket and did the same! I was like, "you smoke?!?! I never knew that!")

Anyway, we really had a nice conversation lah. We talked about her current job to my life after Ngee Ann. Those "catching up on each other's lives" topics lah.

On Saturday, we were at the club once again for the monthly charity party, sWEaT, their last for the year. The party had a "beach" theme, so as you'd figure out, we were all in beach wear! Can't exactly remember who wore what that night, but one thing I'd never forget is how short Wan Cheng's shorts were! Seriously, her pair of board shorts were that short lah!

Super Sunday at Attica was alright too. My goodness, the club was more packed than usual! It was so packed that I got so agitated by people who kept squeezing through (no pun intended) just to get from one side of the club to another! Yes, it was that crowded! Sheesh!

Was at the dance floor when I bumped into Taufiq and Travis! Haha! Travis, Travis... That boy is such a weak drinker... He barely had 2 jugs and his was face was already sooooooo red! Haha!

Anyway, had supper at McD with Gavin, Shah, Zai, Taufiq and Travis afterwards. We, being the bitches that we are, ended up (what else?) bitching about the crowd! Haha... Gavin (as always) led the bitchfest lah...

"Eh eh... That one there... So sedap... Can masak Asam Pedas I tell you! Yum yum!!!"

"Alamak, that one muka macam tikus padi lah sial!"

"I've seen this guy before... Too bad, cannot make it lah that fella!"

See what I mean? Wahahahahaha!!!

Oh, guess who I saw at Attica???? Quick, make a guess!!! Err... wait. All ex-secondary schoolmates of mine, guess! The rest of you... Just continue reading!

Made any guesses yes? Hur hur hur... I saw my former Art teacher, Mr Ng Kok Wai!!! Hahahahaha!!!!! Was dancing with Yann when I turned around and thought I saw someone familiar. That's when it hit me that it was Kok Wai... Ho ho ho... Pecah Lobang liao!!!!

2006-11-23T19:20:00.000-08:00

November 23, 2006

Remember This!

Rule 1: Never touch my hair when it's all set!

Rule 2: When in doubt, refer to rule 1!!!

As you all know, I am meticulous about the way I present myself to the world. In particular, my crowning glory. Yes, I'm talking about my hair!

For the uninformed, it takes me anywhere between 15-45 minutes to set and be satisfied with the way my hair looks. This is especially true when I have to attend a special function or event. So, the next time anyone of you come across the thought of touching my hair when it's all set, please find an access to the internet to read the golden rule above again!

Yes, yes... You may all call me Your Royal Vainness.

2006-11-23T19:10:00.000-08:00

Connote Denote

I've been hooked to this online comic strip for over 2 years now, and I simply can't help putting this particular one on my blog.

Am I insinuating anything? Hmmmm....

2006-11-23T19:06:00.000-08:00

Traumatised

Exactly a week ago, I performed my last school show for the year at ACS Junior, which is situated at Barker Road. I was excited as it was, after all, the last show before I take a good 2-month break from school shows to focus on other things. Little did I know, my last show would also be the most traumatising show ever. Let me explain further.

The first half of the show, which was conducted in the school cafeteria, ran smoothly as planned. We then made our way to the ACS Concert Hall where the second part of the show was to be staged. After helping our producer set the equiptments, my co-actor and I then got ready.

Soon after, the primary 1 and 2 kids filled the hall. Wow, I never knew there were so many classes in a level! Back when I was in primary school, there were only 4 primary 1 and 2 classes respectively, but ACS had more than double of that! With an average of 40 students per class, you could just imagine how many 7 and 8 year-old kids were present in the Concert Hall!

Anyway, the show had reached the halfway point when we moved on to the interactive quiz segment. That was when all hell broke loose. There were 4 questions in total to be asked, upon giving the correct answer, the chosen ones would then be given a prize. The first 2 questions were answered, and it was then my turn again to ask the 3rd question.

The moment I did, a boy who was sitting at the last row of the concert hall ran towards the stage area, hoping he'd be the lucky one to win the prize. Now, we've all been through that stage where we'd follow almost anything our peers would do. It's the "Monkey See, Monkey Do" phase which we all go through. Never did I know there were so many "monkeys" in the hall! As you would've already figured by now, there was a sea of ACS Junior boys who soon followed the boy (who sat at the last row). The end result?

STAMPEDE!!!!!!!!

I heard boys screaming. I heard boys crying. I heard boys shouting "I know, I know! Choose me please!!!"

By then, my feet had already been stepped on more times than they'd ever get stepped on in a sardine-packed Attica! I turned around and looked at my co-actor, and he had the same facial expression as I did. We were both shocked as hell. We were practically helpless!

Even after I had given the prize to a random boy who was pulling my jeans, the shenanigan continued. It was not until a teacher screamed into a mic to ease the commotion that I had finally managed to get back on stage.

We soon ended the show, and after all was said and done, I was still pale and my heart would not stop thumping! As you can see, I was traumatised as hell!

Thank god that was the last show. I now have a month and a half to learn from this traumatic experience before it starts all over again in January.

2006-11-23T18:58:00.000-08:00

B'Day

No, I'm not talking about Beyonce's sensational 2nd album. I'm talking about Birthdays! In particular, that of a special gal in my life. A girl by the name of Wan Cheng. Yup, my best gal recently turned 19 on the 12th, and being the special girl that she is to us Darlings, we decided to take it upon ourselves to reward her with a birthday celebration she will not soon forget.

The dress code for the night was simple; Black top and Jeans. The birthday girl was in her ultra-glam bling-bling Mango top, upon special request from yours truly. She initially wanted to wear a simple black tee, but I simply couldn't resist ~~asking requesting~~ forcing her to put on the Mango top because I personally think she looks absolutely gorgeous in it. Plus, it was her birthday! She had to look gorgeous even if she didn't want to because it was her big day. It only comes once a year, anyway.

Hasif wore a satin-like vest over a black top. At a glance, the vest reminded me of the uniform of one of the KTVs which I might have patroned before, but of course, being Hasif, he totally pulled the look off. Damn it lah, does he ever look bad in anything? *jealous jealous jealous*

Wahahahahahaha!!!

Eugene had a really nice black singlet on. Everyone thought his dressing was totally "out" (if you know what I mean), but I thought the singlet would look "normal" on any Tom, Dick or Harry. Really, there was nothing queer about the singlet at all! It's a nice singlet and it was really "Eugene", keeping in mind he's a hip-hop dancer. Very hip-hop-meets-Jap, I must say.

For the very first time, we Darlings got to see Chuan Wei in a sleeveless t-shirt! Yup, never would I have thought that I'd ever see him in a sleeveless tee, but on that wonderful night, we all did! He initially hid the tee under an olive-green polo tee, but keeping to our dress code, we made him take it off. Technically, we took it off for him, and there couldn't be a better time and place to do that than on the dance floor while the entire club was grooving to the sound of "Buttons" by PCD! Hur hur hur...

Bala was initially dressed in black, but he had to change to a white tee later on due to an event which was happening in the club, organised by AFA, an organisation he has been actively volunteering with for quite some time now.

Melly was in his clubbing tee, a black Canteburry rugby tee. I prefer his red one actually, but because of our dress code (and because his red tee was in the washer), he wore the former for the occasion.

Yours truly was clad in black from top to bottom. I had on a black Topman sweater (which is oh-so-comfortable), black boots (which I had bought for Halloween) and black denim hot pants. Yes, you read that right. Hot Pants! Well, it was a pair of black jeans, but I decided to alter it (because it was too loose) and turn it into a deliciously hot (and totally queer) pair of hot pants! Haha!

Anyway, before we got down to the customary rituals (cutting of cake and blah blah), the birthday gal and I gave out the initial badges which we got from Mustafa Centre a little less than a month ago. It was our little treat to our dearest darlings. Anyway, the badges cost only a dollar each, hence we decided to get it lah!

Wahahahahahaha!!!

A few minutes past midnight, and the cake was out! I was kinda relieved that the cake which I had ordered tasted so damn good! I initially ordered it because it was the only chocolate cake I could find which was in the shape of a heart! Thank god it was oh-so-delicious and i'm-so-gonna-bloat-like-aretha-franklin sinful. Well, considering it was from Chocz (you know, the one at The Esplanade), it had better be that way! Phew, money well spent! Hallelujah to that!

On to the gift-giving part of the night, I hope Wan Cheng loved everything that we got for her, collectively or individually. As a group, we got her Flower by Kenzo, a fragance which, in Melly's words, is soooooo her.

Eugene and Hasif both got her a cute luggage tag, which is meant to give some "life" to her (extremely) plain-looking laptop bag. For a girl who's so full of life and colours, a plain, dull bag is a definite no-no. Smart thinking on Eugene and Hasif's part, really. *wink*

Melly got her this pretty silver pendant (with her name engraved on it) and chain set. The birthday girl, after staring at the pendant for a good minute or so, spent the next 5 minutes staring at the red box with came with it! Woman, you're supposed to love the present, not the packaging! Wahahahaha!!! But seriously, even I thought the box was pretty!

Wahahahahahaha!!!

As for my personal gift to her, I shall just keep it between myself, the birthday girl and the darlings. Mommy Dearest always told me not to kiss and tell, so I shan't tell the whole world what I got for her! Bluek! Wan Cheng, you better take good care of it. Never (and I mean NEVER) lose or damage it, because it cost me a friggin' bomb!!! Heehee...

2006-11-09T13:49:00.000-08:00

November 9, 2006

Equate this!

Long working hours + Body wearing down with fatigue = Mood swings

Go figure.

2006-11-09T13:44:00.000-08:00

Aiyooo....

Time: 0243hrs

It had only been about 10 minutes since I got home from work.

My phone beeped.

It was Wancheng.

She was at O bar with a few gal pals for Ladies Night.

She was... drunk!

Wah lau... That immediately freaked me out big time lah... You know how protective I am over the people I love... I immediately rushed out of the house and hailed a cab to Muhammad Sultan Road.

There she was at the kopitiam with the 2 other girls. She looked... different? Her face was red, her body was weak. She had obviously drank more than she could handle.

But in Wancheng's case, that would have been just a bit of alcohol. Yes, my dear girl isn't good with alcohol. Considering she's the best gal of a soon-to-be alcoholic, that's a shame, really. Haha!

Anyway, she puked for about 6 times. Glad she got all that toxin out of her system. Anyway, hailed a cab and sent her to her doorstep. Walked all the way out to the main road (if you've ever walked from Orchard MRT to Dhoby Ghaut MRT, you'd roughly know the distance) where I bought myself 2 nice glasses of Teh Peng at the 24-hour coffee shop. Contemplating whether I should wait for the first bus home, my sleepy eyes and aching body decided that a cab it shall be.

Fell right into bed the moment I got home. And here I am, awoken by the loud sound of thunder. It's raining outside. Can I please go back to bed? I wish I could, but the 4-letter "W" word's calling my name. Bleah...

2006-11-09T13:36:00.000-08:00

The SMS...

It's been 2 weeks. 2 long weeks of not hearing from each other. It was done on purpose on my part. Sadly, I can't justify yours.

Told myself to give it 2 weeks. 2 weeks to see if you cared. 2 weeks to see if you even bothered. 2 weeks to see if you would even give a damn.

2 long weeks. Over that period, many times have I almost contacted you, but luckily, I managed to hold myself back. I just needed a sign. A sign to see whether all our hints and flirting over the past 6-months were worth it.

Well, I just realised it's not. I know you're facing a pivotal moment in your life right now. I know it's either make or break. I know it's crunch time. But I'm sure it couldn't have hurt to just say "Hello", right? Yes, "Hello". The most basic of all greetings.

Well, the 5 sms-es we exchanged the other day would, sadly, be the last. Or at least on my part it is. Wancheng's been repeating the same lines over and over again whenever the focus of our conversations turned to you that you're simply not worth it. Still, I was adamant. I was determined that you'd at least make that small, puny effort. Sadly, it was too much for me to even ask for.

So this is it. Goodbye, you.

P/S: Because I don't care much anymore (though it really pains me to do this), I've re-published the post which you specifically requested me to remove. I don't see why there's a need to hide anymore. I don't see why I should care anymore. I don't see why that entry should mean anything anymore.

2006-11-09T13:28:00.000-08:00

Bon Voyage!

And so we sent Michelle and Kristine off at the Airport in the wee hours of Tuesday.

Went down to Pasir Ris Drive 6 (Aaahhh... memories) for supper with Gus, Nana & Idris. The conversation which transpired was, well, anything but decent of course! Haha! Don't even get me started with Gus... That boy ah... Sheesh... He's so eloquent yet so incredibly corny! Damn it lah, Gus! Stop turning me on will you! You know I have a weakness for eloquent-yet-corny guys! Wah lau eh...

Anyway, went down to the Airport soon after. Chilled at Coffee Bean where we treated ourselves to decadent cakes and frappuccinos! Yummmmm..... Haha...

Fell asleep on the couch (which was so comfortable) soon after we finished the cake and when I got up, the feeling was somewhat equivalent to that of being in a state of high... Yes, the world was spinning, my thoughts were unclear. This is what happens when you get high/drunk so often. You tend to identify the state of your mind sooner than you can say "I'm coming, baby! I'm coming!"

Alright, that was a weird and totally random way to associate both state of minds, but what the heck! You people are old enough to figure it out for yourlselves!

Anyway, met up with the rest at Row 4 and by 0730hrs, the 2 girls were gone... Sigh. I miss them already.

P/S: Gus, Idris and I made a (mean) bet to see who'd cry first, Michelle or Kristine. I won the bet! Kristine was the first to cry!!! Woo hoo!!! Haha!!!

2006-11-09T13:18:00.000-08:00

Oooh Yummmm!!!

Went for Nadyah's Hari Raya open house on Sunday, and boy can that girl cook! In all, I had 5 rounds of food! What's more, she even made my favourite malay dish of all time... Mee Soto!!! Pretty much explains why I ate so much, right? Heehee...

If we were all not stuffed by the Mee Soto, the hostess with the mostest then offered us dessert, a generous serving of vanilla ice-cream, topped with fruit cocktail and lots (and lots) of chocolate syrup! That could only spell Y-U-M-M-Y!!! Hahaha!!!

What better way to end a hearty meal than to have a good after-meal smoke, right? That sure was the icing on the cake! Before we knew it, we were all lying down in front of her telly watching The Scorpion King! I was sharing the cushion with Farid, Nadyah was lying on Farid's ever-growing tummy (that boy looks 6 months' pregnant lah), Arman was lying on my slowly-growing tummy (much credit to all the alcohol) and... well, you get the picture!

Somehow, The Scorpion King didn't turn out as funny as the first time I watched it at the cinema. Hmmm... Weird. Oh well, I'm sure we all enjoyed ourselves, because I know I did! Heehee... Thanks, Nadyah!!!

*wink*

2006-11-09T13:09:00.000-08:00

Let's Dance, Baby!

Was at the club (again) on Saturday. This time however, I was accompanied by my darlings. Boy oh boy, the music was top notch! Sad that Princess is taking a break from the club, but the original resident DJ, George, made us all forget that Princess ever spinned at the club with his hard-hitting beats! Yes, we all know that Princess is that damn good. I'm not ashamed (though I'm an ardent fan of Princess' wonderful mixes) to say that George is that damn better!

Alright, it was a fantastic clubbing night, that's for sure. But unlike most clubbing nights, I was surprisingly sober by the end of the night. Like, whoa!

Got irritated by the "bad air" that surrounded me, so Jo and I decided to take a little walk down the street. Had a good chat with that baby bro of mine. Opened up to me about a lot of things, and vice versa.

Soon after, we made our way down to CW's office where the 5 of us (with the exception of Roy and Gene Gene, who was extremely drunk) slept slept till 1 in the afternoon. Figured Fazil and Jo left earlier because they were gone by the time the remaining 3 of us got up.

It was so cute, I tell you. I was sandwiched between Wancheng and Jo. But it felt good, really. It's been quite a while since I cuddled up with anyone.

Sigh. I miss cuddling. Haha!

2006-11-09T13:00:00.000-08:00

A Little "Me" time, perhaps?

Went down to the club after work on Friday alone. It was one of my "have-a-few-drinks-and-reflect" moments. Not like it was the first time I did that, anyway. Still remember how I used to go down to Holland V for a couple of drinks and just stare into blank space. Stare... and reflect. Odd as it may sound, especially with alcohol in the menu, it used to work. USED TO.

Wasn't long before I thought I saw a familiar figure over at the other side of the bar. True enough, it was my band senior, Junainy, who was there with his friend, Chris, who apparently was hours away from flying back to Aussie. Had a good chat with him after god-knows how long!

Anyway, chatted with Siti, one of the staff in the club. Found out a lot of things, both good and bad. Shall just keep my comments to myself. Bottom line, bastards should be tortured to death!

Moving along, bumped into Alf and Han who were sitting at the "flower wall", shortly before bumping into Melly and Pao. Chatted with them for a while before the supposedly "have-a-few-drinks-and-reflect" night became a regular clubbing night.

Lesson learnt. Never try having a reflection moment when you're in a place where all the staff (and probably 70% of the crowd) knows you. Bad idea. BAD IDEA!

Nevertheless, it was a fun night. Sounds pretty contradicting, don't you think? Well, we tend to contradict ourselves from time to time anyway.

2006-11-02T05:13:00.000-08:00

November 2, 2006

Innocently Guilty

I'm overwhelmed with guilt as I'm typing this entry. My thoughts are all jumbled up and is slowly piling up into one humongous pile of shit. And it really doesn't help at all that I'm listening to a really depressing song right now. Ugh, never mind. Shall attempt to type this entry without being distracted by the song. Good luck to me then. Ugh!

Alright, so I got to know this girl, let's call her T, through a few friends more or less about 4 months ago. We mingled. We talked. We joked. We laughed. We clicked. But, as those of you who know me well would know, that is just how I am as a person. I'm out-going by nature. I'm not the kinda guy who'd shy away from people, especially to someone whom I just got introduced to. That's just plain rude.

Anyway, T added me on MSN the next day and, like what most of you would've experienced when someone new adds you on msn, we chatted. A lot. But... So??? It's just a phase, I must say. Once you've dived a certain depth into the person's life, the conversations become less frequent. It's just natural for that to happen. Let's face it, unless you're really (and I mean really) close to someone, the drift would naturally just occur. We all face that now, don't we?

Back to what I was saying, T has been trying to ask me out for a meal for the longest time, but because of our clashing schedules, that did not happen. But it's not like we never met or anything. We did, along with our common group of friends, and during those ~~meetings outings~~ bitchfests, I don't recall giving her special treatment in any form or way. I've been treating everyone equally, the same way I've been treating them all these years; be it the girls or the guys. Hell, even Eileen agrees with me on this!

Little did I know, over the course of the last 4 months, this girl by the pseudo-name of T has been harbouring feelings for me. And it all began when yours truly, in one way or another, saved this poor girl from drowning in a sea of dilemma.

T was having problems at home, and who better to talk to than this queer bastard who grew up meeting his busy mother (who was juggling between 2 jobs) only during the weekends and never was once showered with love from the negligent bastard who, in black and white, is his father? Makes perfect sense, doesn't it? When you're caught in a web of depression, it would be nice to talk to someone who totally understands what you're going through, right?

So yes, I held her hand and rode with her through the storm that was plaguing her life then. Metaphorically, that is.

What I don't understand is, how could she have fallen in love with me while she was simultaneously dealing with the problems brewing at home? Also, why did she have to be so discreet about her feelings towards me all this while?

Well, she finally came clean to me about it last night. What was to I say or feel? I was shocked as hell. She's been acting so neutral all this while anyway. Plus, she knew all along about my orientation, that I'm still not ready to fall in love with another girl, and that the possibility of that ever happening again is close to nothing.

Honestly, there're only 2 girls whom I could ever picture myself falling in love with one day, but one of them's already attached to a guy who's in Australia, and to fall in love with the other one would be equivalent to that of an act of incest, simply because she's like a sister to me! Both of them are, actually. So, do all of you see my point now?

When I turned down your love T, it wasn't because you don't mean a thing to me. You're a good friend. But I'm just not ready. Would you want to get married tomorrow and have 3 kids with me within the next 3 years? I know I don't. Look, you're a smart girl with a bright future ahead of you. More importantly, you're a strong girl. I'm sure you'll get over this and find happiness in the arms of another guy, no?

A few friends have suggested giving her the cold shoulder, and to stop being nice to her. But that's not really me now, is it? Yes, I can be obsessive, I can be psychotic, I can be paranoid about a lot of things, but to bring myself to be mean-spirited towards someone who has not wronged me in any form or fashion... that I cannot do. Sigh.

T, please... Stop crying. You have no idea how guilty I feel for making you cry right now, but I really don't know how things could've turned out like this. I believe I've already said everything that I needed to say last night. I don't mean to be blunt, but I guess you gotta start dealing with it. Just know that I'm still here for you if you ever need a shoulder to lean on. I'll always be here for you... as a friend. Please don't forget that.

You know what? I don't feel like blogging about this any further. I'll just end with excerpts from the conversation T and I had last night.

T: "Yes, I know your preferences. But I was willing to look past all that just to fall in love with you."

Maman: "I really appreciate the way you feel towards me, but despite my preferences, I don't see how I can feel the same way for you. Yes, we click. But I also click with everyone else, be it guys or girls. but you don't see me falling for them now, do you?"

T: "...but you're such a nice guy. You're the nicest guy I've met all my life."

Maman: "I don't mean to sound rude, but should I stop being nice to you then?"

Maman: "But.. How is that possible?"

T: "Because you're such a good listener, and you give such wonderful advice. It's so hard to find that in guys nowadays."

Maman: "Do I need another reason to explain why I'm gay?"

Fuck it lah... I'm going to bed. Goodnight.

P/S: Thanks for the comforting words, Wancheng. I know there's nothing I can't share with you.

2006-10-31T01:17:00.000-08:00

October 31, 2006

Last But Not Least...

Happy Halloween everyone!!!!

2006-10-31T01:08:00.000-08:00

Wah Lau eh!!!!

To those who are currently doing school shows as a "day job", you must think that it's good to perform at a school which is 10 mins away from where you live, right?

WRONG!!!!!

Oh my friggin' god... I was practically harassed by the school kids on my way home lah!!! To make things worse, I took a bus home! [rant to self: never ever make that mistake again! NEVER!]

My goodness, those boys just can't stop talking! I seriously felt like telling them to shut up, but I didn't have the heart to lah, considering they're all kids, and we've all been through that stage now, haven't we? But nevertheless, they were soooo chatty! And a tad too inquisitive, I must say...

"What's your name?"

"Where do you live?"

"Just now the show very nice. Very funny."

"I like your hair. Very cool. Where did you cut your hair?"

And lastly, the top 3 questions/remarks which completely shocked me!

"Can we have your autograph?"

"You want to watch DOA with us at Tiong Bahru Plaza this Friday? Come lei... Please..."

"You very handsome lei. What's your handphone no???"

Whaaaaat... theeeeee... ffffuuuuucccckkkkkk........

Despite my flaws, I thank god He didn't create me to be a paedophile!!! Like, thank god!!! I was so friggin shocked lah. Imagine boys about 8 years my junior asking for my mobile no????

wtf wtf wtf wtf wtf wtf wtf wtf!!!!!

That's one "wtf" for every year that separates me from them... Goodness... Kids these days....

Anyway, on a lighter note, I met the tuckshop vendors of my old primary school!!! It's amazing, they still recognize and remember me, even though I've lost SO MUCH weight since primary school. Well, not that I was ever fat back then... I just had more meat on me lah... You know, having an acceptable weight and all that... Haha, I still remember my old english teacher, Mr Roy Soh (he's now the DM of Tanjong Katong Primary) pinching my cheeks whenever he saw me lah! Yes, I was that cute!

Sigh... I miss my old primary school... It would've been 44 this year... Stupid MOE and their stupid integration programme!!! Now my primary school's nothing but a part of Singapore's history... Damn it...

Luckily, they did have a special corner displaying memorabilia from the 3 schools (Tanglin Primary, Mei Chin Primary & Queenstown Primary) which merged to become the new Queenstown Primary in 2001.

I teared looking at the old (Tanglin Primary) school flag, and I almost cried a river when I saw the Song Book (you know, the one which you have to bring along together with your recorder every week for music lesson?), which was turned to the page displaying the words of the school song...

Damn... The nostalgia was too much for me to handle lah... Just so all of you know, I still remember how to sing the school song. Word for word. Note for note.

Sigh.

2006-10-31T00:42:00.000-08:00

Spoooooooooky!!!

Just so all of you know, Halloween was F-A-B!!! I'm glad I managed to buy everythin that I wanted to wear for the party. Yes, I pulled the look off, and boy was it LOUD!!! Needless to say, I was one sexy biatch!!! Oh, did I mention my outfit was outrageously kinky too? Hur hur hur...

Almost everyone in our group dressed up. I, as you would know by now, dressed up as a sexy/kinky Black Widow, Hasif was a Greek God, Wancheng was a Rocker Chick, Eugene was a back-from-the-dead Willy Wonka, Chua Wei was the Boy Wonder, Bala was a Vampire and Roy was.. Well.. A Blue Bitch! Really, he dressed up as a Blue Dog!!!

Needless to say, everyone spotted us... We even had complete stangers wanting to snap photographs with us! The attention was so overwhelming that after a while, it was... weird??? I mean, we're usually there to enjoy ourselves, NOT to snap photos with strangers!!! But Halloween shall be an exception lah... Haha!

It was a waste that Melly, Jo and Manfred weren't there.. Nevertheless, we had one hell of a wild night!!!

And ooooh... Guess who was there??? Hur hur hur... Had a nice chat with that person lah... God, it's been ages since we talked! And yes, we danced too.. Aiyah, get your mind out of the gutter lah! Sheesh, you people...

Anyway I'd love to post the pictures we took, but then I'd have to impose a M-18 rating on my blog, So I shall not do so... Hur hur hur... Yes, we were hot, sexy and w-i-l-d... So I guess I should leave everything else to you and your imagination then... Hur hur hur...

2006-10-31T00:35:00.000-08:00

All Hail The Babi (Pig)

Much to my surprise, I actually had fun on Hari Raya! Though it was really tiring entertaining the guests and being in charge of the kitchen (my 2 elder cousins and I barred grandma from doing anything in the kitchen! Heehee!) at the same time, it was fun nonetheless.

Anyway, like I've mentioned before, Hari Raya is the time of the year where I'd usually bloat, and by bloat I mean gain weight, and by gain weight I mean eat like there's no tomorrow, and by eat like there's no tomorrow I mean... Well, you get the picture.

Needless to say, I ate like there's no tomorrow. In total, I had 18 rounds of food. You heard that right! EIGHTEEN!!! But I didn't have much of a choice, really. My relatives forced me to eat along with them, otherwise they won't touch the food at all. So, being the nice guy that I am, I obliged lah.

Damn it lah... I seriously need to work out... Nah, screw gyms... I'm gonna start swimming and cycling again.... Shall dedicate my Sundays for them... Anyone wanna join me?

P/S: Guess who wished me "Selamat Hari Raya"??? Well, it's not who you'd think it is... Hur hur hur... La la la la la...

2006-10-31T00:21:00.000-08:00

Cleaning Up My Act

The night before Hari Raya was spent doing spring cleaning, though it's technically Autumn now. No, wait. It is currently Spring in Australia! Err... Aiyah whatever lah, you know what I mean!

Grandparents weren't feeling too well, which meant that I was running a one-man-cleaning show the entire night. Well, not entirely a one-man show lah. Grandpa did help to dust the windows, and grandma helped to iron the curtains and cushion covers (especially since she knew her beloved grandson hates to iron), while I did everything else!

Warned grandma that I'd be throwing away a lot of things and there was nothing she could do to stop me from throwing away all the ~~useless junk which only takes up space in the house~~ antiques. True enough, she helplessly watched as I threw away junk after junk after junk! Call me mean, but hey, At least the house looks better now! Wahahaha!!!!

When it came to my room, I initially thought that it would take me forever to clean up the mess, but I eventually proved myself wrong as it only took me less than 2 hours to get rid of all the junk!!! Yes people, my room ain't no pig sty no more... Yayness!!!

WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

2006-10-31T00:12:00.000-08:00

Burying The Hatchet

Was at Attica the Sunday before last with Chuan Wei and Fazil. It was utter madness, I tell you! We were all packed like sardines, or worse if I may add. The only way I could get to one point from another was to grind my way through the dancefloor. Yes, it was that bad. Nevertheless, the crowd was wonderful. So was the music.

Anyway, Chuan Wei and Fazil left at around 2 whereas I, being the party animal that I am, stayed on. Was ~~making walking squeezing~~ grinding my way through the dance floor when I felt someone grab my hand. It was Roy. He pulled me over, gave me a tight hug and apologised for whatever that happened in the past.

Those who know me well enough would know that it's hard for me to bring myself to forgive and forget, especially when that someone has wronged me to the point where I could just slap the shit out of him/her.

But for some reason, I forgave him. I guess it's not worth holding a grudge for so long, even though I was deeply insulted by the remarks he made a few months back.

It's probably because I sense that he has changed his ways, especially towards Eugene, who is a part of our "Darlings" clan. Everyone knows that I've inherited my mom's traits of being overprotective of the ones I love, and because I do love my Darlings, I protect them with my life. That was what caused the big clash between Roy and I a few months back.

But because they're back together again, I'm convinced that no matter how many times Eugene try to move on, the path in which he had created to move away from Roy would eventually (and inevitably) lead back to Roy! I could only draw one conclusion from that, which is those 2 are meant to be together, and hence, I'm happy when any of my darlings are happy. So since Eugene is happy (no pun intended) being with Roy, I'm happy for them.

So that pretty much sums up why I chose to put aside my differences with Roy. Plus, he has sworn to me that he would not mistreat nor would he neglect Eugene, much like what he used to do in the past. I shall give him the benefit of the doubt and hope he'd stay true to his words.

2006-10-21T07:56:00.000-07:00

October 21, 2006

Can You Feel It?

Had our final full dress rehearsal last night and i must say, I'm already hyped up. With the exception of one particular fella who was so distracted and kept fooling around, everybody else's focus was 100%. Despite the frustrating rehearsal which was cancelled a couple of days back, I must say we did really well last night, especially since we all knew the clock was ticking and we have to give it our best. Ooooh.... Funny (but delightful) feeling in my tummy... Is that adrenaline I feel? Well, that could only mean one thing... It's showtime, baby!!! Haha!

Anyway, had a nice long chat with "that particular person living at the other end of the island" on MSN last night. Long story short, I really enjoyed the conversation. Thanks for making me smile from ear to ear, you.

Alright, I'm gonna hit the showers now. My call time's at 0930hrs. Have a good weekend, y'all!

2006-10-20T02:57:00.000-07:00

October 20, 2006

(Almost) Dead

I just got back from work not more than 10 minutes ago. Yes, it's almost 3 in the friggin morning and I just got back from work.

Been out at work since 9 in the morning. In all, that's almost 18 hours of work today, and the thought of how the weekend will only be even more hectic is freaking me out.

As you can imagine, I'm dead tired right now. I'm desperate trying to stay awake as I'm typing this entry. I was planning to jump straight into bed the moment I reached home, but upon checking some of the messages that were left for me on MSN, I decided to log in here for a short while to type this short entry.

Hey YOU... Yes, I've removed the previous entry as per your request. Actually, I just saved it as a draft so that I can always read it again and reminisce the memories we've created whenever I miss you. Not just that, but I also did it because I respect your privacy and your wish of not wanting anyone close to you knowing about it yet.

Alright, I'm off to bed. Can't take it anymore, my eyes are screaming for some rest. Goodnight, people.

P/S: I'm missing you badly right now... Do you miss me too?

2006-10-19T06:35:00.000-07:00

October 19, 2006

Do You Remember

...the first time our eyes met, on that scorching hot Sunday afternoon?

Do you remember how I kept looking away whenever you caught me stealing glances at you?

Do you remember our first MSN conversation that night?

Do you remember when, much to my surprise, you planted a kiss on my lips for the very first time at the entrance of the theatre when no one else was around?

Do you remember how that felt, and how magical that moment was?

Do you remember how we'd discreetly return each other's kisses whenever no one was looking?

Do you remember how we'd purposely sit behind the curtains of the entrance, just so that we'd be able to plant kisses on each other's lips without anyone else suspecting?

Do you remember the first time we hugged each other goodbye?

Do you remember the last time we actually spent time together?

Do you remember the long conversation we had in my room, while the rest were outside chatting with each other?

Do you remember the last time you were in my arms?

Do you remember how we winked at each other without anyone else noticing when we went down to support Cynthia and Diana at their gig?

Do you remember the look we both had in our eyes just before we parted on that very night?

Do you remember the first time we had an argument?

Do you remember the long conversation we had on the phone the very next night, while I was on the way to meet my friends for clubbing?

Do you remember the tone that I had in my voice?

Do you remember how happy I was throughout the entire conversation?

Do you still remember all that I've mentioned above?

Well, I still do. Every single detail, every single memory of you and I.

2006-10-19T06:23:00.000-07:00

Me, Myself and I

Took a long, slow walk at the park near my house the night before last, and I realised how long it has been since I actually had some "ME" time.

I need a holiday, I need a break. A break from everything. I need to find the time to just sit down and connect with my inner self. It's been a long time since I had done so anyway.

I need white sandy beaches.

I need crystal-clear water.

I need... Krabi.

Anyone wants to go?

2006-10-19T06:18:00.000-07:00

What The Fuck!

Last night was undoubtedly the most frustrating day at work ever. Was initially supposed to meet up with Claire (who just got back from a holiday. Lucky bitch!) for dinner, but I had to calcel it at the last minute because of a last minute rehearsal notice. Perfect, just perfect!

Went down to the performance venue, only to find out that rehearsal had to be cancelled because the person who was supposed to move the props and set had not done so yet. So I asked "What now?"

"Well, let's just wait till the person gets here. The important thing right now is to make sure that the uncle didn't send the stuff to the wrong place."

So for the next 3 hours (yes, 3 fucking hours!) we were all just sitting around, not knowing what to expect next.

By the end of the 3 hours, it turns out that the stuff had already been moved to the performance venue, just that the SM was one blur cock of a woman (pun not intended) to even realise it!

By then, I had already lost my mood and my drive to rehearse. Upon seeing the frustration in our eyes, the SM cancelled the freaking rehearsal. I just grabbed my stuff and left.

UGH!!!!!

2006-10-18T05:25:00.000-07:00

October 18, 2006

Untitled.

There're so many things that I want to blog about, but not now. Definitely not now. I'm not in the mood. Don't ask me why. I'm just not. Oh well, I better get ready for work now. Have a good day, everyone.

2006-10-18T05:23:00.000-07:00

Birthday Wishes

Happy birthday my beloved ex-colleague Shariff! Shorty, you've re-invented the term "divalicious" so many times in your 28 years of living that all fingers would automatically point to you when asked the definition of a true diva. And yes, you still are the mother of all bitches... Always was, always will be.

Thank you so much for holding my hand, telling me everything's gonna be alright and bringing me out of the closet a little over two years ago. In a way, you're partially responsible for who I am today, and I cannot be ever more grateful. *hugs*

2006-10-17T06:02:00.000-07:00

October 17, 2006

Love That's Worth A Fight

Yes, I've uploaded a new song, and it's by none other than Danity Kane of course! The title of the song is Ride For You, or in Charlene's case, Ride ON You... Hur hur hur...

I love this song because it's so in-your-face, especially when I sent it to "that particular person living at the other end of the island"... Heehee... *wink*

Anyway, here're the lyrics... Hey you, read the words carefully, especially the ones I've highlighted in bold... Can I ever get more in-your-face with you??? Haha! =P

Ride For You
by Danity Kane

[Verse 1 - Aundrea]
Lately, I've been tryna fight whatever's pulling us under
It's got a hold and really making me wonder
what it takes to get through
I gotta stick with you, my baby

Baby tell me:
Maybe I'm foolishly overreacting
But being without you I can't imagine
It's just too close to the heart and
And I won't stand it if were broken apart

[Chorus - Group]
Do you hear me?
Baby ya gotta believe in the things

that make you & me win together
Don't you throw in the towel
I'm keeping my promise to you

I got ya back now

When the chips are down
It seems like it's so hard for you to move ahead
Just know that I am by your side
There aint no ifs, buts, or maybes,
I'm gonna stay down and ride for you baby

[Verse 2 - Dawn]
We've been cutting it close

with the backwards & forwards
It's rocking the boat;

we gotta get control of this

Let's take it back to three years ago
When you said that we could make it through whatever, ever
And to me it sounded like you meant forever, ever
Leaving was not an option, baby, never, never

Now don't you believe in a love that's worth a fight
In you is everything that I'm missing
So give us a chance

[Repeat Chorus]

[Bridge - D.Woods]
Don't you dare tell me we gotta let it go...
We been on top for too long just to let it go under
I don't wanna hear that
I just can't hear that

And know
Wherever you wanna take me
I'll go
I've been with you for too long to start over with another
I know that you hear me
Just tell me you hear me

2006-10-17T05:25:00.000-07:00

Chains

Received a chain message that was circulating on MSN.. It went something like this...

"because u opened this, u'll get Kissed on Friday by the Love of ur life, and tomorrow will be the best day of ur life ever. if u dont send this to 10 people by 11 o' clock tonight, u will have bad luck for the rest of ur life."

Now, you all know I don't believe in such chain messages which are said to carry "curses" of whatever omen it is that they are supposedly carrying. You all should know that I'm a tad bit more realistic and logical than that.

But I decided to just play along with it. Figured it'd be nice to just fuck some people up once in a while with such messages. Haha!

But what amused and led me to even bother to send the message in the first place were the words I've highlighted in bold. You see, this only proves that the "curses" and/or "promises" that are contained in these messages as such are mere words which hope to paint either a beautiful or a dreadful picture in the receipient's mind. And I have the most logical proof to back that statement up.

See, first of all, I know there's a high possibility I will NOT get kissed by the love of my life on Friday because I know "that particular person living at the other end of the island" will be extremely busy for the next 4-5 weeks, so I know I wont be able to meet "that particular person living at the other end of the island" on Friday and thus, I know I will not get a kiss from the love of my life.

Secondly, I know tomorrow (rather, today) will not be the best day of my life simply because in my mind, I know what set of events would trigger the "best day of my life", and it'd be years before that finally happens.

Then again, that is if the "life" in the message is referred to my life as a whole, simply put it as a "from-the-day-I-was-born-to-the-day-that-I-die" situation.

But if the "life" meant to imply that the "best day" is something which is not so complex; perhaps it's meant to imply that life could be looked at by stages/phases. If that's the case, then I'd still say tomorrow won't be the best day! Haha!

The only thing that could make today the "Best" day of my life would be knowing that I have "that particular person living at the other end of the island"'s heart solely and entirely to myself and that "that particular person living at the other end of the island" holds my heart in its entirety. For now, that ain't gonna happen yet. (I said, yet!)

Told you I'm more realistic and logical than that... Hur hur hur...

2006-10-17T04:37:00.000-07:00

Sync Up!

If I needed a proof of the darling's love for each other, then this is it! It seems like we're so in love with each other that one by one, we're all catching the same virus! Haha!

Yes, we're all falling sick; each of us slowly coughing our lungs out by the minute. I'm not too sure about Faiz and Dan, but all I can say is that Wancheng, Melly and myself have fallen ill, and what better way to fall sick than to fall sick at the same time?

Wahahahahahahahaha!!!!

Wancheng and I have been coughing non-stop whereas Melly is this close to losing his voice completely. Hopefully Faiz and Dan are fine, especially Faiz since he's asthmatic.

Let me end this entry with a quote from one of the episodes of Will & Grace:

"You know, when gals hang around together as much as we do... They tend to sync up!"
- Karen Walker (Megan Mullally's character in the sitcom)

Well said.

2006-10-17T04:20:00.000-07:00

4 Hours of Pleasure

Spent close to about 4 hours watching the entire third season of Making The Band. That's right, I watched all 9 episodes of the third season in under 4 hours, and I must say, I'm totally falling in love with Danity Kane.

For those of you who have yet to watch the reality series, I urge you to. Only then would you be able to see how talented these girls are. Watching them record their singles made me fall in love even more. Damn they can sing, especially Aundrea.

Speaking of Aundrea, she is one sexy mama! Oh yes, Aubrey too... Hotness hotness hotness!!! Damn, I can so turn lesbian right now... Hur hur hur...

2006-10-16T05:25:00.000-07:00

October 16, 2006

What Better Way

...to enjoy my Sunday than to spend the whole entire day in bed???

Yup, was practically in bed the whole friggin day, and I only got up at around half-past 6 in the evening... Sure felt good to finally get the chance to sleep my day away...

Hur hur hur... Alright, I better get ready for work now. It's a brand new week, people! Enjoy it like it's your last. Oh, and don't let the Monday Blues bug hit you yeah? Take care, peeps!

2006-10-16T05:19:00.000-07:00

Hur Hur Hur...

This was from the 3-part "Downside of Ramadhan" entry I posted 2 days ago...

I woke up... with a massive hard-on! Needless to say, my hormones were going crazy. In fact, they still are! And yes, I'm still rock-hard!!! But what else can I do when I can't relieve myself in the way I'm most familiar with (you know what I'm talking about!) while I'm still fasting????

Well, I'm only a guy. A guy with needs and desires just like everyone else... So why is it that so many of you have been messaging me on MSN saying "Wah, someone got hard sia"???

Oh come on! Which guy (who has gone through puberty) doesn't get a hard-on at least once a day??? Please, it's been 9 years since puberty knocked on my door, so who are you trying to kid anyway? Yes, yes... I was an early bloomer! Happy now???

Sheesh, you people...

P/S: Hey YOU, let me correct what you said on msn once again... For the record, I didn't just get a hard-on, but I got a massive hard-on... Read carefully the next time around, please... When I say massive, I mean m-a-s-s-i-v-e... Hey, don't underestimate me okay! I'm larger than life, mind you... But... I guess you should already know that by now... Oops! Hur hur hur... *wink*

2006-10-16T05:02:00.000-07:00

Blooper Of The Day

Charlene, thank you so much for cracking me up with your... err... suggestive bloopers? Wahahaha...

Once again, the title of the song is Ride For You, not Ride ON You!!!

Oooooooh... Someone loves to ride... So now I know your preferred position... Hmmm... I'm sure Bryan must've enjoyed it a lot, huh? *wink*

WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

2006-10-14T14:18:00.000-07:00

October 14, 2006

Downside of Ramadhan (Part 1)

I woke up and immediately took out a cigarette, something I'd usually do every morning (except during the Fasting month, of course) to clear my phlegm-blocked windpipe. Was about to light it up when I realised, "Oh shit, I'm fasting!"

Less than 5 hours before I can finally smoke...

Ugh.

Downside of Ramadhan (Part 2)

For some god-knows reason, I'm seriously craving for KFC right now... Yes, Kentucky Fried Chicken... You know, the one created by that fat old (dead) dude by the name of Colonel Sanders? Yes, THAT one...

Ugh, less than 5 hours before I can finally eat... Oh shoot! I doubt there's a KFC near wherever I'd be later at around that time... Dammit lah!

Double Ugh.

Downside of Ramadhan (Part 3)

I woke up... with a massive hard-on! Needless to say, my hormones were going crazy. In fact, they still are! And yes, I'm still rock-hard!!! But what else can I do when I can't relieve myself in the way I'm most familiar with (you know what I'm talking about!) while I'm still fasting????

Oh dear god... Why... Why me?!?!?!?!

Triple U-G-H!!!!

2006-10-14T07:46:00.000-07:00

Ooooh yeah!!!

Was at the club with Wancheng for their "Madonna VS Kylie" night... Guess what??? I answered a question correctly and ended up winning Madonna's "Confessions On The Dancefloor" album as well as her "I'm going to tell you a secret" DVD!!! Wahaha...

Probably my Feng Shui was damn good last night... Either that, or my skin's si bei thick lah! Wahahaha!!! Why do I have the feeling that both reasons may apply here? Hur hur hur...

Okay, okay... Gonna watch my newly-won DVD now... Heehee... *wink*

2006-10-13T09:27:00.000-07:00

October 13, 2006

Welcome To The Family

My youngest uncle's wife just gave birth to a healthy baby boy! Yayness! One more addition to my beloved family... *wide smile*

Alright, i'm off to the hospital now, before I head off to work later in the afternoon.

(:

2006-10-13T09:24:00.000-07:00

Oh girl...

The time was 0315hrs, barely an hour since I got home from work on Thursday morning. Was on the phone with none other than Baby Tammi, and by now you should all probably know that whenever I have a conversation with Tammi, be it face-to-face or on the phone, the conversation wouldn't lack raunchy, scandalous details! Am I right or am I r-i-g-h-t, girl?

WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!

We were talking about a particular hottie who was once an option for her, someone whose hotness I only had a vague picture of. That was not until I had met the hottie myself during Tammi's birthday bash. And boy oh boy... You could feel the heat a mile away... Ooooh yeah, testify baby!!! Haha!

Anyway, Tams sent me 2 songs which were composed by this particular hottie, and by the end of those 2 songs, I've discovered something new about myself. People who can sing as well as how they present and carry themselves are such turn-ons!!! Yes... I was so turned on by the hottie's singing abilities!

And there was this point in the chorus where the hottie shoots up the scale and hits a really high note, but the way the hottie did it was soooo arousing that it was such an orgasmic moment ! Yes, it sure felt better than sex! Tams, I'm sure you felt the same way, girl! *wink*

WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!

And yes Tams, if my heart wasn't reserved for a particular someone living at the other end of the island, I would totally force you to set me up on a date with that hottie! Wahahaha!

Come to think of it... I just remembered that that particular person living at the other end of the island was from choir! Is that merely a coincidence or is that fate? (:

*smirk* Hur hur hur... Hey you... Go on... Sing for me, baybeh!!!

WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!

2006-10-13T09:07:00.000-07:00

Jaded

It seems like yours truly is seriously jaded of celebrating Hari Raya; or at least at how pretentious the celebrations can be. Rather, it's what your relatives make of it, really.

Let's face it, and this is particularly directed to all my Muslim friends who do celebrate Hari Raya; how many of you there have been put in a situation where you're made to answer the same old questions raised by the same few relatives whom you only get to meet once a year (meaning ONLY during the festive season) and never hear of again for the rest of the year?

I see a few faces gleaming with that cynical grin which says "Yeah, balls. Been there, done that!"

That is what, over the years, have made me realise how the true significance of Hari Raya is masked by the pretentiousness of relatives who act like they give a damn, but in actual fact doesn't even know you for nuts!

Hari Raya Aidilfitri is meant for Muslims around the world to celebrate the victory of overcoming all obstacles and temptations that was brought about during the Holy fasting month of Ramadhan. In a way, it acts as a reminder of your strengths as a person in times of hardship because throughout the fasting month, you were placed in the shoes of the unfortunate others who don't share the same benefits as you do in life.

It's not, however, a time for you to parade around the island in your extravagant set of Sarong Kebaya and string of bling-blings, all in the hopes of arousing envy in the hearts of your own relatives!

I won't deny the fact that I have, in my younger days, worn expensive outfits on Hari Raya itself, but before I explain further... wait!

The Bitchy Diva in me is dying to say a few words to these people (yes, I don't associate myself with such people!) who pretend to be oh-so-glamourous and ooh-la-la during Hari Raya. Yes, I'm talking to you people who walk around in your Sarong Kebayas, which I reckon was either bought at the Geylang Serai Bazaar, or was tailored in Johor Bahru! Cheap freaks! Okay, the Diva shall now ~~speak~~ bitch...

"Darling, tell me something I don't already know about being gooooorgeous during Hari Raya! Seriously honey, you have no idea what being fabulous on Hari Raya is like.

If my charitable mother hadn't passed down most of the Baju Kurungs I've worn over the years to my distant relatives, I would so make you gouge out your eyeballs just at the sight of how fabulous those outfits were. In fact, it was only 4 years ago when yours truly was clad in a specially-tailored Baju Kurung made with authentic Versace material!

Yes honey, I was wrapped around in authentic Versace, specially imported and tailored just for me. *raises eyebrow* Now, I'm sure that costs so much more than the string of neclaces you have around your neck! So here's a reality check for you, Mak Cik. The devil sure does wear prada, and I'm his Versace-clad assistant, so yes... I should know!

Mak Cik... You just got served, biatch!"

Okay, that was one hell of a tripping moment. Good to know the diva's still in control! Haha... Ok, so where was I? Oh yes...

Sure I've worn such extravagant outfits before, but as I grew older, wiser and attained so much more understanding of the significance of Hari Raya, the extravagant Baju Kurungs and the va-va-voom Hari Rayas came to a halt.

I guess the pivotal moment for me was when I turned 16. That year, I bought an electic-blue baju kurung which costs only $50. Yes, it was a drastic change, but I'm glad I did it.

It's sad to realize how special Hari Raya was for me. Yes, was. Now, it's just a day for me to tell myself "Oh, I survived the fasting month. Good for me."

I've been turned off by these people time and time again that it has deterred my ability to fit in with the preconceived notion of the typical Singaporean-style Hari Raya celebrations.

In fact, I can't even be bothered to think about what coloured-Baju Kurungs I'll be getting this year. And yes, I even plan to get a simple, plain Baju Kurung the night before Hari Raya itself. That's how jaded I am!

On the contrary, I'm all hyped up about Halloween! Wahahaha!!! Yes, I've already thought of what I shall wear on the big party night! All that's left is to find the time to go around shopping for my outfit! Wahahahaha!!!

Yes, this is what globalisation and the influence of western culture has done to me. Hey, at least I know I'll be having so much fun with my darlings that night! *wink*

2006-10-11T07:27:00.000-07:00

October 11, 2006

Thank you

...for making me smile. You have no idea how much I smiled, rather, have been smiling since last night. Sure, the emo-freak in me did eventually surface, but that was only because I was overjoyed. Well, I'm sure you'd already know that by now.

Once again, thank you.

(:

P/S: Can you please stop listening to that song? Pwetty Pweasseeee? Haha! Yes, I know it's a nice song, but there's no point if it's gonna keep reminding you of the shit you're going through. You already have all you need to get over this shit. And you know you have me. *wink*

2006-10-11T07:22:00.000-07:00

A Whole New World

...Well, not exactly.

Work was, well, dull. Nothing exciting nor scandalous of sorts happened. Probably it was because I had blocked everything out and was hazy in my own world. Yeah, Maman was in his own little planet yesterday. Could possibly be the after-effects of what happened the night before. Oh, I don't know. All I know is that I sure was not in the mood and definitely not in the right frame of mind to be at work. What's the point of rehearsing if you can't be focused right? Sigh.

But little did I know, all that was about to change once work ended!

The first thing I did was to get down to Takashimaya to get a new pair of earphones. Yes, the pair of Sennheiser earphones I saw a couple of weeks ago! Considering the model I got is part of their cheaper range of earphones, mine costing $60 (keep in mind it's Sennheiser we're talking about here), it's actually quite good. "Quite" is an understatement, I must say. I'm loving my new pair of earphones! Woo hoo! Got Bass? Haha!

Well, that wasn't the only thing which made Maman a happy boy last night... Something else happened which is still making me... floaty. Heehee... Shan't talk about it... Nosey parkers!

2006-10-11T07:10:00.000-07:00

Road Rage

I had missed out this entry while I was typing my set of entries yesterday. It's somewhat a sequel/follow-up to the Mak Cik Madness entry; and this happened on the cab ride home.

Well, I ended up buying a lot of food for my family, and when I say a lot, I mean A-L-O-T! Haha! Was too lazy to wait for bus 198, so I decided to hail a cab instead. Yes, yes; me in a cab again. I'm forever taking cabs. So what's new? Haha!

Anyway, the ride was going well until... The cab drove into the AYE where there was a massive jam. I thought to myself, "well, it's normal lah. It's close to 6 anyway. Usual peak-hour traffic lah."

Then all of a sudden the cab driver... he... he just snapped! Yes, he snapped! He broke out in vulgarities in all sorts of dialect. Yes, he even swore in Malay and Tamil!

For a second I thought he was pissed because a silver Mercedes SLK (oooh yummy... sports convertible...) just overtook his cab, but I was eventually proved wrong.

"You see lah! This is all YOUR gahmen's fault! (Blurts out even more nonsense which, when I think about it, seems to make sense actually)"

And if you guessed the uncle continued on with his rants on how MY gahmen's policy on vehicle ownership is an oxymoron, you're absolutely right! Even to the point when he he was passing me back change, he was still blabbering about the oxymoron! Geez... Dude, get a grip will you?

There's something which I still don't get, though. The way he said "YOUR gahmen" was as though I was uniformed in white and I had the Prime Minister's face printed on my t-shirt! For the record, I wore a BLACK t-shirt. A black Fila t-shirt to be exact. So why make it sound like all the other motorists (and your passengers) have headbands with the iconic bolt of red lightning on their heads? Please, leave that to the public toilets. That's why it's called toilet politics to begin with. Sheesh!

That was, without a shadow of a doubt, the weirdest and most bizarre cab ride ever.

2006-10-10T02:35:00.000-07:00

October 10, 2006

Stars In Heaven

I think it was Shahmen who sent me this song quite some time ago. Though it has been in my mp3 player ever since, I never really did listen to it. It was not until today when it caught my attention while I was on the way to work, and I ended up playing it on repeat mode for the rest of the day. In fact, I'm listening to it as I'm typing this entry right now. The song's by the Indonesian band Peter Pan, by the way.

Here're the lyrics. Oh, and for the benefit of those who do not understand Bahasa Indonesia, I've translated the lyrics into English. Enjoy.

Bintang Di Surga
by Peter Pan

Masih ku merasa angkuh
Terbang kenanganku jauh
Langit kan menangkapku
Walau kan terjatuh

Dan bila semua tercipta
Hanya untukku merasakan
Semua yang tercipta
Hampa hidup terasa

Lelah tatapku mencari
Arti untukku membagi
Menemani langkahku
Namun tak berarti

Dan bila semua tercipta
Tanpa harus ku merasakan
Cinta yang tersisa
Hampa hidup terasa

Chorus:
Bagai bintang di surga
Dan seluruh warna
Dan kasih yang setia
Dan cahaya nyata

Oh bintang di surga
Berikan cerita
Dan kasih yang setia
Dan cahaya nyata

Stars In Heaven
by Peter Pan

I still feel the arrogance
Flying all my memories away
Because the sky will catch me
Even if I fall

And when all is created
Only for me to feel
All that was created
The disappointment of life is then felt

Though exhausted, I still search
The meaning for me to give
To accompany my steps through
Though it's pointless.

And when all is created
Without having me to feel
The residue of love
The disappointment of life is felt

Chorus:
Like the stars in heaven
With all its colours
And the love that's true
And the light that shines through

Oh stars in heaven
Give me a story
With a love that's true
And a light that shines through

[Random Rant: I'm sad. Yes, it's because of what I read. Can I cry now? Okay wait. Never mind that. I already am. There're a thousand and one things I wish I could tell you right now. I swear. Sigh.]

2006-10-10T02:11:00.000-07:00

Mak Cik Madness

My last show today (rather, yesterday) was at Bukit Timah Primary, so I decided to buy dinner for my family. Called grandma up and told her not to cook anything for dinner as I'll be getting it for them.

And so I boarded bus 157 to the Jurong West Bazaar Ramadhan Bazaar, an annual void-deck bazaar that never fails to draw crowds from all over the island.

Yes, the selection of food available was wide, so much so that I didn't know what to get! Anyway...

I was queuing up for a pack of Nasi Ambeng for my beloved grandma when all of a sudden, this fat-ass Mak Cik pushed her way through the crowd to get to the stall. Well, under normal circumstances I would've just closed one eye and ignore her kiasu-ness, but not when she ended up pushing me, and especially not when she tried to cut the queue, a queue I've been in for about 10-15 minutes! That was when I decided that I've had enough, and it was time to open my mouth.

"Kak, oh kak. Jangan takut, kak oi. Nasi Ambeng tu takkan lari!"
(Don't worry, sis. The Nasi Ambeng won't run away!)

No surprise, heads turned. Served her right for being such a typical Singaporean. Yes, I know she's older than I am and I'm supposed to respect my elders, but don't forget that there were elders who were behind me in the queue as well!

And the best part is, even her super-duper minah (eew!) daughter agreed with me!

"A'ah lah Mak! Apa lah mak ni, kan dah banyak makanan tu. Diet lah sikit!"
(Yes, mom. We already have a lot of food. You should start dieting!")

I just looked at her super-duper minah (once again, eew!) daughter, raised both eyebrows and shrugged. I think the Mak Cik was then too embarassed to get the Nasi Ambeng, so she walked away. Thank god!

God, I felt like just strangling her with the extremely long gold chain she had around her neck. Stupid Mak Cik with no sense of social responsibility and courtesy! Bleah!

2006-10-10T01:53:00.000-07:00

Oh Shit

I just looked through the tracking list for one of the school shows I'm doing right now, and I'm freaking out. Why?

Well... Most of the shows I'll be doing in October and November are in the Eastern part of Singapore! Yes, the other end of the friggin' island! The more I scroll down the excel sheet, the more I'm freaking out. I keep seeing Bedok, Tampines and Pasir Ris!!!

Plus, they're all 9am shows, meaning I have to be at the respective schools at 8.30, which would then mean I have to get the 7am train, which would then mean I have to leave the house at 6.45, which would then mean I have to get ready by 6.30, which would then mean I have to get out of the shower by 6.00, which would then mean I have to get in the shower by 5.30, which would then mean I have to wake up at 5!!!

AAAAARRRRGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!

No, I cannot get there by cab. Well, technically I could, but NO I shall not! The last time I took a cab to the other side of the island was when I had a 9am show at St Hilda's Primary School last week, and it fucking hell cost me $25!!! Yes, it costs that much just to get to the other side of this small island!!!

Most of the east-side shows I've been doing are either in the late-mornings or in the afternoon. I am so dead. I am so fucking dead. Yes, I'm freaking out. In the words of Remy Zero, "somebody saaaaaaaavvvveeee me..."

Okay, that was corny. Oh what the hell! Aargh!!! It's times like this that I wish I had an apartment in every corner of the Island... Oh dear lord...

Okay, calm down, Maman. Calm down.... Breathe, boy! BREATHE!!! Inhale... Exhale... Inhale... Ugh, who am I kidding?!?! In the words of Army Daze, "Mati, mati... Tentu mati..."

Okay, it's confirmed. I need to get my license, and I need to get it NOW. Regardless of whether it's a bike or a car license, I just need it. NOW.

Aaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrgggggggghhhhhhh!!!!

2006-10-09T00:56:00.000-07:00

October 9, 2006

Random Ramblings

One by one we drop them
Little words of comfort
The comfort of knowing
We still long

The subtlety of hints
Words replacing emotions
Of love and passion
Waiting to be rekindled

Clairvoyance tells me
One day we will achieve
Happiness

Together
Through sick and sin
We will always be
One.

It's funny how we constantly project our emotions from afar. We know how we feel inside, but we refuse to say it out loud. Perhaps circumstances made things this way. Nevertheless, as I'm typing this, I'm smiling.

Yes, smiling. I've been smiling a lot as of late. Sure I've expressed all sorts of emotions; anger, frustration, concern, disappointment. But at the end of the day, it's my laptop which I look forward to be with.

In solitude I smile. My laptop has been my friendly companion, because it's the only thing I rely on to provide me with the daily glimpse of your life.

Some say it's pathetic. Two persons who feel so much for one another being bounded by blogs. It's a step, I say. A baby-step which would eventually grow into something else.

We gave each other time. I still need time. So do you, for the most obvious reasons. Time is a commodity I can most certainly make full use of as of right now. Simply because, I've got the confirmation I've been looking for. I still believe, time will heal. Time will tell. Time will bring us together.

Take care, you.

2006-10-09T00:47:00.000-07:00

After 2 years

...I was finally reunited with my dearest secondary school friends. Yes, it's been 2 years. 2 long years. 2 years too long, in fact. Anyway, the feeling was absolutely great. I don't mean to exaggerate, but I felt that it went beyond just being great. Though there were a few who couldn't make it, it was still a memorable evening nonetheless.

So the planning Mardiana and I did paid off well. We had a nice dinner at Sakura @ Far East Plaza. Yes, there were lots of side dishes to compliment our respective choice of main dishes. Okay, I shall now let the pictures do the talking. I think I look really bad in the pictures, considering I had a really long day and I barely had any sleep the night before. You can so see the fatigue in my eyes. Okay, enough with that. Pictures!!!

First row: Mardiana, Nadhirah.
Second row: Hasanah, Rose, Noraini, Sanah, Saniah, Jehan.
Third row: Hafiz, Nashrun, Maman, Taufiq, Hakeem.

The Boys. Sadly, Feeraz and Imran couldn't make it. Sigh.

The girls. Roselyn, Yunara, Yanie, Hijanah and Nadeera Hussain couldn't make it. Once again, sigh.

Mardiana and I. She's... as short as ever! Haha! But of course, she's as sweet as ever too. *wink*

Me and my "niece", Nadhirah. Kirim salam sama Cik Ahmad eh! Haha!!!

Me and Hasanah a.k.a my first crush in secondary school. Haha!

Waiting for Food: Nadhirah, Maman, Hakeem, Jehan, Taufiq.

Waiting for Food: Sanah, Noraini, Rose, Saniah.

Anyway, while we were waiting for a few latecomers at around 6.15, Taufiq asked me something which completely took me by surprise. I swear to god I didn't know how to respond to that. It totally caught me offguard. Yes, I was shocked he even asked.

Fiq, all I can say is... I never once hid it, I simply refused to talk about it. I guess you would've known over the years, considering we were once like paper and glue. But yes, I have nothing to hide about it. I am who I am, see. People can see for themselves. I don't have to proclaim it to the whole world. So yes, let me repeat myself. I never once hid it, I simply refused to talk about it.

I'm sure most of you can guess what I'm talking about right now...

2006-10-09T00:02:00.000-07:00

Hey Mama!

Yesterday was Mommy dearest's 38th birthday, and boy was she one happy lady! I, on the other hand, was one crazy bugger running around to make sure all the arrangements' ay-okay. Haha!

Made a few calls to a few cakeries before, after much consideration, I finally decided on the absolutely fabulous Cholocate Amer cake from Bakerzin. Called up the United Square outlet and confirmed everything that needed to be confirmed.

Took a cab down from home and that was honestly the worst cab ride ever! The driver was going at 50 fucking kilometres per hour throughout the journey!!!!!!! He was so slow that other motorists were honking their horns at him! God, that was so embarassing!!! Total unglam moment!!! Aargh!!! Tak glam, tak glam!!!! NOOOOO!!!!

[rant to self: I knew I should've taken that Merc cab instead! So much for "kindness" and letting that old lady with the plastic bags get it first! Ugh, kindness my ass lah! No more giving way to others! Especially when it comes to Merc cabs! No more! NO MORE!!!]

The total cab fare (including the $2 peak-hour surcharge) amounted up to $12.70!!! Are you fucking kidding me?! It only costs me $6.90 to get from Commonwealth to Toa Payoh, and Toa Payoh's 5 mins AFTER Novena!!! Goddammit!!!

Aaaaanyyyyywayyy... Collected the cake, only to realise it wasn't the right one! It was some other chocolate cake, NOT the Chocolate Amer I ordered! I had to wait for more than half an hour before they finally got me the right one! Ugh!

Okay, that's enough hating for now. Took a cab (because all that waiting, not to mention the slow cab ride pushed me behind time) to my aunt's place, after which I hid the cake in the fridge. It was a small family affair, just the way I wanted it. In attendance were my maternal grandma, my aunt and her family. Mom arrived 5 minutes later and we all had a good time chatting while waiting for the sun to set, which would then signify that we could all break fast.

After the meal, grandma cleverly distracted mom by asking her into her room while my aunt and I prepared the cake. When mom got out the room, we were all there waiting by the door, candle lit and all, and we sang mom a birthday song. Mom was really touched by the gesture. She didn't have to say it out, it was evident in her eyes.

After the cake and all, mom and I left for dinner at Breeze. Thing is, I've been keeping mom in suspense over the location of the restaurant. All I said was "It's a secret. You'll know once we're there!"

Mom did express her worry to my aunt. She was worried that I'd bring her to one of my night haunts! Yes, mom actually thought I was bringing her out to a club! I burst out in laughter and said "Mom, why would I want to bring you to a club? You KNOW that stage of your life is over!"

And her response to that? "Hey, I'm not that old okay!"

Haha... My mom... Cute as ever...

Okay, so everything went smoothly at Breeze. The food which I pre-ordered was fantastic, much thanks to Adrian who whipped up the meal specially for my mom. We had a delightful 3-course meal, and after that... It was time for the surprise cake! Yes, another cake compliments of Breeze. And boy, my mom blushed! Most of the staff came over and sang her a birthday song! Everyone else just turned around and wished my mom a Happy Birthday. Yes, touching (but embarassing) moment for mom! Haha!

Once the night was over, sent mom off to get a cab and once she got back she sms-ed me "I'm home. Thank you so much for tonight. You really did more than what I expected. Thank you, my beloved son. Love you."

Awww... And of course, my heart just melted knowing that Mommy Dearest appreciated all the effort that I put in for that night... =)

2006-10-06T05:31:00.000-07:00

October 6, 2006

Reunions and Celebrations

Over the past week, I've set aside time to meet up with a few friends to simply catch up. And what better way than to take full advantage of the stack of complimentary tickets my mom got (through her company) to the Nokia Starlight Cinema event at the Padang; an event I've attended without fail since it started 5 years ago.

Caught Pirates of The Carribean 2: Dead Man's Chest with Daniel, Colin, Chuan Wei, Khai and my dear Fag Sis Cynthia last Friday. It certainly was a Boys' Night Out, if you may. Haha! It was great to have all 6 of us sit on one mat, food in hand, and simply enjoy the movie. After that, it was off to meet the rest of the darlings for our weekly routine. Hur hur hur.

Met up with Sofrie on Tuesday to catch Dark Water. It was so nice to finally get a chance to have a long chat with Sofrie again since our last meeting about more than a month ago. And chat we did!

Prior to that, we had dinner at Thai Express which was promptly followed by a nice dessert session at Ben & Jerry's. And throughout the movie, we were both munching on chips, more ice-cream and we then washed it all down with green tea. Aaah... Heaven.

The movie was nice, though I personally feel it didn't quite match up to its Japanese predecessor. Nevertheless, it was the long chat Sofrie and I had afterwards at Esplanade Park which I really enjoyed. Two good friends just opening up about how lucky we both feel to be blessed with the group of friends we both have in our respective circles right now, about past loves and shitty pasts. Haha!

Just hours ago, I had the chance of catching The Break-Up with none other than my dear Baby Tammi, and boy what a feast we had! Let's see, we "da bao-ed"...

Tom Yam Talay (Tom Yam Seafood)

Papaya Salad

Mango Salad

LARGE Pepperoni Pizza (with EXTRA pepperoni and EXTRA cheese! Yum!)

2 Large packs of Chips

Guacamole Dip (for the chips)

Cream Cheese with Chives Dip (for the chips)

A tub of Ben & Jerry's

Yes, we totally porked out during the movie! And after the movie, we had a really heartfelt conversation about her current situation with Giles (her boyfriend who's now in Aussie) and how the movie brought about a sense of discomfort in me. Why, you may ask?

In a way, I honestly felt like it hit too close to home. I could totally relate the situation both Jen Aniston and Vince Vaughn's characters were in, with what went on between me and Adi.

I could so feel for Jen Aniston's character because I was the other half who'd do anything just to get Adi to want to work harder for the relationship. If you still don't get what I mean, go rent the DVD. Then you'd understand.

Anyway, today will be a rushy day for myself. After work, which should end by 3.30 latest, I'd be rushing off to Orchard to get some stuff before... meeting up with my secondary school friends for dinner!!!

Yes, it's been too long. 2 years too long. Finally I'll be able to meet up (and not to mention, catch up) with my dearest secondary school friends, especially the Band girls.

After dinner, I'd then be going down for the double-birthday-celebration my darlings and I have been planning (and stressing out with) for both Eugene and Chuan Wei. That could only mean one thing...

IT'S PARTY TIME!!!

Can't party too much though, as I'd be pretty busy tomorrow. With what? My mother's birthday celebrations lah! Yes, mommy dearest will be turning a year older tomorrow, and her dear son has planned for her a day of activities, which would end with a nice romantic dinner at Breeze, which I foresee (rather, I KNOW) would burn a huge hole in my pocket. But it's alright, it's for mommy dearest anyway.

So yes, it's been quite an enjoyable week so far. I'm happy. Are you? =)

Alright, I'm off to work now. Adios!

2006-10-06T05:24:00.000-07:00

When I'm Bored

...I attempt memes my friends post on their blogs! Got this off Shelton's, and I thought I'd just post it here for the fun of it. And I've got more ideas to come up with similar A-Z memes in future. Let's keep that for future I'm so bored I can just die moments, shall we? Haha!

[A is for age:]
-- 19

[B is for beer of choice?]
-- Hoegaarden!

[C is for career:]
-- Theatre Industry.

[D is for your dog's name:]
-- I'm afraid of dogs, except for a particular 8-month old Italian Greyhound by the name of Tash. That's Ollie's dog, by the way. Thank god she's such a well-behaved and shy creature of god. She never barked or anything. Phew!

[E is for essential item you use everyday:]
-- Cologne!

[F is for favorite song at the moment:]
-- You Make Me Feel Brand New by Simply Red. For the obvious reasons.

[G is for favorite games:]
-- Luxor!!!

[H is for hometown:]
-- Tanglin Halt "Chub Lao"

[I is for instruments you play:]
-- Trumpet. French Horn. Drums.

[J is for favorite fruit juice?:]
-- The Strawberry-Banana juice from NP Canteen 1. Damn I miss it!

[K is for kids?:]
-- I want 3!!! If I ever get married, that is.

[L is for last hug?:]
-- Few hours ago when I said goodbye to Tammi.

[M is for marriage:]
-- Err... NEXT!

[N is for name of your crush:]
-- Obviously I won't mention that particular person's name here, right? Yes, it's still the one living at the other end of the island. You know who you are, kiddo! Haha!

[O is for overnight hospital stays:]
-- Eeeee... Scary!

[P is for phobias:]
-- Kakorrhaphiophobia: Fear of failure.

[Q is for quote:]
-- Amantium irae amoris integratio est (The quarrels of lovers are the renewal of love)

Are YOU paying attention??? Haha!

[R is for biggest regret:]
-- I try not to regret anything I do. I said TRY.

[S is for status:]
-- Single, hot and available! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

[T is for time you wake up:]
-- Depends.

[U is for underwear:]
-- Boxers. I need that much space to make way for my Big Boy to "stretch" himself, if you know what I mean. Wink!

[V is for vegetable you love:]
-- Anything BUT the bitter ones!

[W is for worst habit:]
-- Biting my nails. Heehee!

[X is for the name of ur eX boy/girlfriend /crush:]
-- You all should know who lah ah...

[Y is for yummy food you make:]
-- Anything I make is yummy, so is there a point to this question?

[Z is for zodiac sign:]
-- Err... I'm half-taurus, half-gemini.

2006-10-04T02:03:00.000-07:00

October 4, 2006

Dysfunctional

I reactivated my line and collected my replacement SIM card this afternoon. The lady who attended to me was nice, though her constant badgering at wanting me to subscribe to their value-added services really got onto my nerves.

"Erm... No. I just want my SIM card. That's all. Nothing else, thank you."

"You sure? Why don't you consider our GPRS back-up plan? For a monthly subscription of $2, you can save all your precious contact numbers in our server. So, if you were to lose your phone again, you won't have to gather the contacts all over again. Not so leceh lah."

"Err... No thanks. I'll consider it once I get a new phone."

"Oh! So you're considering a new phone??? Which model are you eyeing on?"

"Errrrrrr.... N73?"

"Aah! Excellent choice! We just launched the model not too long ago! And since you've been subscribing to your current mobile plan for a year, Mr Abdul, you can upgrade and get the phone at a cheaper price. Hold on ah, let me check the price for you."

(cuts in) "No, please. There's no need. I just want my SIM card. That's all. And you can call me Rahman, by the way."

"Sure ah? Confirm you don't want?"

"Yes, I'm certain. Would this take much longer? Because I have to rush off to another appointment. Like, now."

"Oh, you have another appointment ah? Sorry, sorry!!! You hold on ah, I'll get you the replacement SIM card."

"Yes, thank you very much. I would REALLY appreciate that."

See what I mean by "REALLY got onto my nerves"? The lady then came back soon after to FINALLY pass me my SIM card. No surprise, I got out of there in a jiffy.

The bad news is, I've been trying to get my old Nokia 6220 to work, but it hasn't been successful so far. I knew I should've traded the phone in eeyorns ago when I had the chance, but at the same time I'm reluctant.

After all, the phone was a gift from my mom for passing my "O" levels, and for proving to her that I'm still the smart boy everyone knew, just that it also proved to her that the smart boy is one hell of a lazy pig! Haha!

Yikes!!! That means... I have to resort to my... My... My si bei ulu Nokia 3510!!! Yes, the one that I bought using the ang pow money I collected during Hari Raya back when I was in sec 2!!!! Oh lordy!!!! Say it isn't so!!!

Nevermind, I will not admit defeat until the 6220 ends up in pieces!!!! Must try harder... MUST TRY HARDER!!!! Work, you stupid phone!!!!

2006-10-02T16:13:00.000-07:00

October 2, 2006

Random Ramblings

"Remember, remember
Never forget
All of your life has all been a test
You will find the gate that's open
Even though your spirit's broken"

Can you see me smiling now?

2006-10-02T16:11:00.000-07:00

Dual Reality

"when you feel so much for something yet you feel just as much against it..."

Now everything fits into place... perfectly. I have truly understood the reason behind all that has been happening. Thanks, Ollie. Even though the entry you posted on your personal account facing dual reality dates all the way back to mid-February, it helped. A lot.

I feel like there's finally a closure somewhere in my life. I'm smiling right now. In fact, I've been smiling for the past hour. I'm finally at peace with myself. Once again, thank you Ollie. I can safely move my life on from this point onwards.

Yes, I'm smiling....

2006-10-02T15:59:00.000-07:00

Important Announcement

Dear friends,

I have lost my phone. Yes, my beloved nokia 6680 is gone. Sigh. That would then mean that I have no means of contacting any of you at the moment. Even after collecting my replacement SIM card, which I would probably do tomorrow after work, I still won't be able to contact any of you simply because all your contacts were saved in my phone, and not in ink anywhere else.

That said, I would appreciate it if you could all follow the proper protocol and text me your contacts tomorrow evening. Do remember to state your name (was there even a need for me to remind you?)(oh wait, considering I know people who can be that ignorant, yes the reminder was necessary.) and where we got to know each other, be it work, school, through other friends, the club (yes, do sms me if we met in the club! It's a must because in clubs, i only give my contact to those who are physically... delicious? Haha!) etc etc etc... Thank you.

Love,
Maman

2006-09-29T01:45:00.000-07:00

September 29, 2006

Oh Mother...

It's only coming to the 6th day of the fasting month, and I'm already skeptical about the results of my Ramadhan Routine. The reason? My mom lah!

Was supposed to break fast at my maternal aunt's place on Monday, so I decided to go back to my mom's place to take a shower after my last show for the day (which was in Yishun), which ended at about 5 or so. And since my aunt's place is in Toa Payoh too, it saves me from explaining why I decided to go back in the first place. Pretty much self-explanatory.

My producer was kind enough to drive me to Braddell, where I then took a bus home. The first thing my mom said when I entered the house was "Boy, did you lose weight again???"

I just stared at her. I then replied "Mom, you just saw me a few days ago. I couldn't possibly have lost SO MUCH weight in a matter of days, right?"

Anyway, after the refreshing shower and all, we were both ready to go to my aunt's place. Helped her to carry a few bags full of Malaysian tabloids, tidbits and some other stuff. That was when I saw mom carrying a medium-sized cooler. You know, the ones you use to chill your cold drinks at picnics? Yes, that one. Anyway, I asked what and who the box was for and she simply replied "You."

"Me??? What the hell for???"
"Aiyah, you'll find out later."
"Right. Oooooookay."

Anyway, we broke fast and watched Singapore crown Hady Mirza as the new idol and all that lah. When I had to take my leave at around 10, mom reminded me to bring the cooler. I got the biggest shock ever when I opened it.

Inside, was FULL of chocolate bars!!!!! In particular, MARS, Snickers, Kit Kat Chunky, Kit Kat White Chocolate and Kit Kat Caramel Chunky!!!!!

"MOM!!!!! WHAT'S WITH ALL THE CHOCOLATE???? YOU WANT ME TO DIE OF DIABETES IS IT???"

"I HAVE MY REASONS FOR BUYING YOU ALL THESE CHOCOLATE..."

"AND THEY ARE???"

"WELL.... FIRSTLY, JUST LIKE ME, YOU HAVE A SWEET TOOTH, SO I KNOW YOU'D GET SWEET CRAVINGS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT. SO WHENEVER YOU DO, YOU CAN JUST GRAB A BAR AND EAT IT.

SECONDLY, I KNOW CHOCOLATES AND ICE-CREAM ARE YOUR COMFORT FOOD, BUT I DECIDED THAT CHOCOLATES WOULD BE MUCH EASIER FOR YOU TO BRING AROUND, JUST IN CASE YOU NEED IT.

THIRD, I CAN NO LONGER STAND HAVING A SON WHO EATS LIKE A PIG BUT LOOKS LIKE A BLOODY FLAMINGO!!! YOU'RE TOO SKINNY, AND WITH YOUR EVER-BUSY SCHEDULE, I KNOW YOU WON'T BOTHER TO EAT MUCH. IT'S REALLY TIME FOR YOU TO PUT ON THE POUNDS, BOY!!!!
AND LASTLY... WELL.... HEEHEE.... THEY WERE BEING OFFERED TO ME AT A SPECIAL DISCOUNTED PRICE! 50 CENTS PER BAR, SO I GOT THEM ALL FOR YOU LAH!!!"

The whole house then burst into laughter. So did I. I just walked over to my mom and gave a kiss on the cheek. So sweet right, my mom??? Wahahahaha...

So how much have I eaten so far??? Up till now, I've binged on 8 MARS bars, 5 Kit Kat Caramel Chunky bars and 2 Snickers bars... Oh, I'm having my 9th MARS bar now...

2006-09-28T01:46:00.000-07:00

September 28, 2006

E-N-O-U-G-H

Yes, I've had enough! I shall finally do a particular friend of mine a favour by breaking my silence. FINALLY. Remember the saying "Be careful of what you wish for"? Well, today's your lucky day, chap!

Yes, I'm not in a good mood. Considering I just got home after working for 17 hours NON-STOP, why should I? I'm tired. I'm hungry. My eyes are crying for sleep. But it's okay, I shall spend the next 5 minutes or so typing this entry. Sorry for the scrambled train of thoughts. I'm extremely tired. Yes I just mentioned that, I know. Go figure, mothafuckas!

Dear Friend,

If I could point my finger at one huge mistake you've made throughout our friendship, it definitely will be you underestimating me. Don't act like you know me so well when you obviously don't.

Time and time again, you've mistaken my silence about a lot of things for ignorance. Big mistake, my friend. Big fucking mistake! I'm more aware of the things happening than you think, but why should I be a ~~whiny little bitch~~ baby and discuss it openly when I can simply use my eyes, observe, and keep my comments to myself???

Yes, I've noticed all your ~~cries for attention~~ attempts to get to me, but why in the fucking hell should I even bother to retort when I fucking hell know well enough how things will turn out??? It ain't the first time we've had such a conversation before, mind you.

Yes, you've done a lot. I see that. I appreciate that. But now I honestly question your sincerity, especially after what you've said. If you had done all the things you did out of goodwill, why bring it up now? But you know what, I'm glad you've finally told me how you really feel about a lot of things. At least for once you were honest. So yes, thank you for the honesty. It's deeply appreciated.

You know what? At this stage that I'm in, I'm too tired to bother myself with your childish ramblings. Go take your ego somewhere else. I've got enough burden on my shoulders. Burden you don't even know of. See, so you think you know me now????

I can jolly well spend yet another 10-15 mins to type out everything that irks me about you, but like I mentioned above, why should I be a ~~whiny little bitch~~ baby and dish everything out when I can jolly well shut up?! Yes, shut up. That's what you need to start doing.

Oh, and in response to your current msn nick, I've done you the biggest favour anyone could ever do for you. I've deleted you off my friends list, I've deleted your contact no and I've deleted all the pictures we took, be it just the 2 of us or with my other friends. Because you know what, friend? You chose the wrong approach with me. Wrong move at the wrong time. So yes, off you go. I'm sure your life will be better without me, just as how I know mine will be too. Goodbye.

There. I've said what I needed to say, though there are still a lot of things which are left unsaid. But why should I treat a friend in such a manner? I have more brains than that. Fuck it lah. I'm off to bed. Goodnight to everyone else.

2006-09-25T05:29:00.000-07:00

September 25, 2006

Gentle Reminder

Now that it's the fasting month, let this be a gentle reminder to all of you out there...

A hungry Maman is an angry Maman.

An exhausted Maman is an angry Maman.

A Maman who hasn't had a smoke for more than 12 hours is virtually a ticking timebomb.

I definitely will be hungry after an exhausting day at work, not to mention the fact that I will not be able to smoke while fasting. Put all these elements together and what you have is a monster waiting to be unleashed. And that monster is me, Maman.

Don't worry, the beauty of Ramadhan is that it teaches you to be patient. If I was patient enough to tolerate Adi's huge-ass ego for 10 months, I can definitely be patient during this fasting month.

Then again, seeing how I've been extremely cranky as of late, don't be surprised if I end up snapping. I'll try not to, but nevertheless, don't push your luck. You have been warned.

2006-09-25T05:22:00.000-07:00

It's here again...

Wow, time sure does fly. I can't believe the fasting month of Ramadhan has embraced us with its presence once again. It's that time of the year where all Muslims will be put through a test of endurance for a whole month, and I most certainly can't wait to implement my "Ramadhan Routine".

"Huh? What on Earth is a "Ramadhan Routine"?!?!"

It's my annual diet plan, of course!!! Yes, yes, yes... I know you must all think I'm crazy, but honestly, I'm not.

Take this analogy, for example. Animals stock up their food supply in Autumn to prepare themselves for the harsh, cold winter so that they won't succumb to the extreme climate and freeze to death. Correct?

Well, the same idea is applied here. I'm losing enough weight during the fasting month to prepare myself for the Big Bloat once the festive season's here. Let's face it. It's Hari Raya, and what does Hari Raya equate to?

Hari Raya = Extremely delicious BUT extremely fattening food!

Get my drift now?

See, I need mass and definitely NOT fats. So with that said, here's a draft of my Ramadhan Routine:

Fasting Month: -5kg
Festive Season: +7kg
Total Loss/Gain: +2kg

By the end of the festive season, I should gain a total of about 2kg. So ultimately I'd still be gaining weight, just that I'd doing it the smarter way.

I shall weigh myself later on in the day, which would then signify the start of my Ramadhan Routine!!! Woo-hoo!!!

2006-09-25T05:16:00.000-07:00

Bump Bump Bump

This past week has been one hell of a bumpy ride for me. So far, it's been the most challenging week of 2006. I am drained. Full Stop. Shan't bother to discuss further.

The upside of my week, however, was meeting up with my darlings and chilling till the wee hours in the morning. After a really shitty week, it seemed to me that all I needed was a dose of bitchiness from the group of bitches whom I love so much, and true enough, it was well worth it. Thank you so much, darlings. You guys really do make the shitty week seem worthwhile. I love you guys so much! Muacks!

2006-09-25T05:11:00.000-07:00

Crank It Up!

I've been really cranky over the past couple of weeks. It's probably due to the effect of fatigue and the extremely long working hours which has been going on for more than 2 months now.

Sure, I do get about 2 Sundays and the occasional Saturday to myself each month, but I'm starting to feel that I need to take at least a whole week to relax and recuperate my physical, mental and emotional health.

To those whom I have screamed, yelled or cursed at over the past couple of weeks, be it directly or otherwise, please accept my sincere apologies. It's not that I mean to, but in my opinion, you were all simply at the wrong place and at the wrong time. Tough luck.

For those who have yet to get burnt, don't push it. I'm not kidding.

2006-09-25T05:04:00.000-07:00

If I were President

...I'd be responsible for the first Holocaust of the 21st Century because I'd use everything in my power to eradicate all MindFuckers in the world.

That's right, eradicate, because MindFuckers are a disease to humanity. And no, it won't be a massacre. Please. A massacre is an unnecessary persecution. I shall do all my beloved friends a huge favour by killing all MindFuckers in the world. No, I'd be doing mankind a huge favour.

Come to think of it, why hurry when I can do to them what they did to my loved ones?

TORTURE THEM!!!!

But how eh??? Hmmmmmmmm.......

Eureka!!! I know... I shall place all of them in a concentration camp where the MindFuckers get mindfucked, and they will finally get a taste of their own medicine. Not only would they learn the meaning of the word "compassion", but they would also be able to realise their mistakes. But by then it would be too late for all of them. Plead as much as they want, I won't bother. Spare me your fallacies and face your impending doom.

Think of me as a cross between Hitler and Mother Theresa. So yes, let me overthrow Bush and only then would planet Earth would be a more peaceful place to live in.

*imitates Dr Evil* Muahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!

P/S: I enjoyed the conversation the 4 of us had last week about MindFuckers who walked into our lives, and changed it forever. Hence, I shall start this revolution against MindFuckers. Nyeh heh heh!!! *smirk*